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3 Bumps

I'm told I "babysit" when we go out to the bars together.. what does that mean? adult content

My bf will not take me out the the bars with him because he says I "babysit" him. Also said all of our friends see it. I don't. I guess I dont understand exactly what that means. Its rather hurtful when he says " I dont wanna go with you". Everytime you just sit there and do nothing. But all I do is sit there, and watch people, sometimes I stay quiet and let him shoot the shit. I dont go walking around cause Im not gonna do it by myself. I sit next to him and I try to make conversation with ppl and him as well. but apparently I come off the wrong way. he cant have fun He is the fun guy to party with or just chill with. I dunno what Im doing wrong, we have gotten into arguments cause it hurts when he tells me all that. Like last night. He said he going to his friend Ambers house and she does not want me there cause I babysit him. who the hell is she to say anything!? to be cont...

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mommyoftristan

Asked by mommyoftristan at 5:04 PM on Oct. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,903 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • if he never had a problem with it before and he wants to go to a females house at night without u something is wrong....
    405mom

    Answer by 405mom at 5:09 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • Do you really even want to figure out or waste time deciphering what he and his immature friends mean? Is he husband and father material? I think not.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 5:09 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • No,you are NOT doing anything wong,. Your boy friend is acting like a jerk---an immature jerk. He wants the freedom to do whatever he damn well pleases and sees your presence as hindering his plans to "circulate" and act like he is free as a bird. I wouldn't hang out with someone that selfish and hurtful.
    kerp1960

    Answer by kerp1960 at 5:10 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • Anyways... Im 27 he is 24.. small age difference. But im also a mother and a mother to be again. I think about doing stupid things before doing them, which sometimes ruins the fun but tough. I love being around him 24/7. he says when we go to the bar together. everyone knows we are a couple.. I dont need to show it. sometimes ill give or ask for kiss or to or a hug. I dont see anything wrong with that whatso ever. its just how i am. all my friends apparently dont want to chill with me anymore, and its like.. I never did anything to them I guess I just dont understand what it is I am dong exactly. :*(
    mommyoftristan

    Comment by mommyoftristan (original poster) at 5:11 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • If I had a BF that said those type of things. He would not be my BF any more. To me he means you are boring to go out with. You just sit their.  If I where you I would turn it around and tell him when he says he is going to ____ house.  Bye, I have my own plans. Even if you don't.


    My DH said this to me one time when I wanted to go to the Casino with him. " You cramp my style". and he left me at home. well I followed him to the Casino.  Pretended like I did not know him.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 5:13 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • Sounds to me like he wants to go out alone to umm talk to other women. Just my opinion. And he is a total f'ing jerk to make you sit at home. Why does it matter if people see that you are a couple? I think you need to have a serious talk with him and if he continues this, I would start following him around to see what he is doing. My DH would NOT be going to any woman's house that I didn't know without me, period.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:15 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • The fact that he doesn't want you to go with him to his "friend" Amber's house is a HUGE red flag! Even if there is nothing going on there, a man would tell Amber to F*ck off and not treat his GF that way. He is being completely inconsiderate and immature and needs to start acting like an adult. I would also be suspicious of the fact that none of the friends want you there anymore. Are you hearing this first hand from him or them? Sounds to me like he is using them as an excuse for you to not go out with him, which then you have to ask what is he doing that he doesn't want you to see?
    shanlaree

    Answer by shanlaree at 5:15 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • What's he even doing with you if he doesn't like to go to bars with you? That should be a fun time for the both of you, if he loves you, he'll enjoy your company wherever you are, if not, find someone who does! And he went over to some chicks house and told you you couldn't come with? Oh hell no, that wouldn't work for me for a minute! You deserve better, don't put up with his shit, don't stick around to argue about it and let him make you feel like you're the one doing something wrong, it's not you, it's him..he's an ass!
    chocolatluver

    Answer by chocolatluver at 5:15 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • that usually means you give him looks or nag if he gets "out of hand" or that his friends might think you are stuck up because you sit there and people watch - I get that sometimes because I am naturally quiet and don't have much to say, people think I am stuck up- but its shouldn't be ok that he won't bring you - something is wrong with the communication in your relationship.
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 5:18 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • We have gotten into many arguments about this. says you dont trust me.. im like I just dont like the fact that u are gonig alone. excuse me for feeling that way. he tells me there is absolutely nothing going on. He would not cheat on me and never has in the 3 1/2 years we been off and on. he says he loves me and is very upset that i think he would be cheating. Im not defending him Im just giving views on both sides or story. but I know he is Dead wrong for going alone. at the bars its guys and girls.. but I have seen in his phone that one of my friends asked if im still being crazy and hounding him. I can get bad but wtf ever.. im the girlfriend, i have a right. he says he loves me, and doesnt want us to split at all. even wants to move into my moms house with me in NH we are in fla. i dunno.. its bullshit, I hope he grows out of..... sorry I type so much. stuck at work.. lol nothing to do.. u all are helping me think.....
    mommyoftristan

    Comment by mommyoftristan (original poster) at 5:22 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

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