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How do you get your son to open up to and bond with his stepfather?

I just got married in August, and was with my husband for 4 years before we got married. My son from a previous relationship has had a difficult time connecting with his stepfather. He barely talks to him, and doesn't try to interact with him much. My husband tries to have fun and talk and get my son to open up, but it's such a struggle. How do we go about getting them closer, so my son feels like he can go to his stepdad for anything?

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Sharell8710

Asked by Sharell8710 at 5:09 PM on Oct. 27, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 19 (7,647 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • sorry to hear you're having that problem my kids would prefer that my fiance were their real dad
    405mom

    Answer by 405mom at 5:11 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • I would give it time. Not knowing if his bio dad is in the picture, it could just be a grieving process. That logically he knows that you are with step dad, but giving up on the fantasy that you and his bio dad will be a family can be hard. He might also be afraid that step dad will leave as well. Give it time. Chat with him. But he is also in that lovely preteen age where one word answers are a staple.
    balagan_imma

    Answer by balagan_imma at 5:13 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • One other important detail... my son's biological father has never been around. He has seen him twice.
    Sharell8710

    Comment by Sharell8710 (original poster) at 5:14 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • I know how you feel. I am in a similar situation. My hubby takes my son on one on one activities and outings that they both enjoy.
    mistical_me

    Answer by mistical_me at 5:43 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • Don't know how old your son is but when this happened to my daughter (age 4) it took a little time. In fact it wasn't going well at all until her daycare teacher suggested my new husband/ her stepfather take her fishing one on one. He went and bought her a purple fishing pole and away they went, when they came back, everything changed. Now this probably wont happen to some but I think one on one time and focus on what your son's interests are over time it may happen. Your son has to establish trust in him and that takes time. Just to let you know how it's going 12 years later... My daughter is a Daddy's girl big time, she adores him and thats the only dad she knows or wants to know. Good luck!
    anichols1

    Answer by anichols1 at 6:15 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • Just give it time.
    _Tam_

    Answer by _Tam_ at 4:29 PM on Oct. 30, 2010

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