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2 Bumps

How do you deal with family when you love them but cant support thier choices ?

My half brother is my brother I love him but I don't always suport his actions .
He does not like to work and because of this after years of bieng the sole provider and other things too . His wife left him . He wants to fight her for custody. I hate to say it but I honestly feel his reasons are revenge and to hurt her , and he wants the ssi check my neice gets ( she has a defective heart ) . I love him but she honestly is the best person to raise them day to day . She also drives the kids to him for visitation when he " doesn't have enough gas" . She really trys to encourage them to keep in touch with us all .He thinks I should stand by him because we are family but I am family to the kids too. I feel like I am standing by them,
Oh and he is awfully pissed that he has been ordered to work and pay CS

I try to keep my lip zipped but when he askes my opinion well

Answer Question
 
chica1965

Asked by chica1965 at 5:40 PM on Oct. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Level 12 (801 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • you can just be the best you can & do what you feel is right
    Ricanmami1

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 5:50 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • Sorry you gotta be in the middle, hun and in situations like this it is always that much harder.

    My full-blood sister has an addiction to prescription pain meds and wants NO help for it and expects everyone to ignore her breaking into our homes, stealing stuff from us...the final straw with her was last Thanksgiving, well the day after. I had JUST gotten my financial aid stipend from college and my oldest dd (9 then) and I had hit the local Walmart's Black Friday and got some REALLY awesome stuff...

    I hid it in the car, my sister broke into my car and got my ex-husband's new wife to drive her to Walmart so she could return it and get cash. Some of it I couldn't get later. Also, later that night the cops came to her trailer (across my driveway) to arrest her and bf on warrants...I didn't know they were there, she fled through my house. I haven't spoken to her since, that's my way of handling it.

    SO do what you know is best
    NEMommaOf3

    Answer by NEMommaOf3 at 5:54 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • Being family doesn't mean that you have to agree, or support their bad decisions. You can still love them and disagree with what they decide to do.

    If it is any consolation, I would stand by the kids in this situation as well.
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 5:56 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • yeah just don't say nothing just be there for him like always and be there for his kids he's lucky to have a loving mother for his kids. He'll just have to realize one day he is not the victim if only he gets a good job and pays child support he will do fine. GL to u and especially him.
    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 5:59 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • Thanks ladies It kinda feels like I am a traitor even though my comon sense tells me I am not
    chica1965

    Comment by chica1965 (original poster) at 6:30 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • I agree with you, I would feel the same way you do.
    LiLJeni

    Answer by LiLJeni at 3:13 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

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