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Do you think this type of statement is manipulative and controlling?

"Most people would find X woman more attractive, but I think you're better looking. " My SO does not say this, my exhusband would say things similar to this (I don't remember verbatim). It seems as if it's a compliment, but he's manipulative, and can be verbally abusive. So it had me thinking if it's a way of saying that HE finds me attractive, but others wouldn't? Just curious. Thoughts?

 
MeandMyBabes

Asked by MeandMyBabes at 7:42 PM on Oct. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Level 20 (8,298 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • it's called a back handed compliment. they are a way to say something mean, but in a 'nice' way. obviously only a**holes use them instead of real compliments. glad he's your x lol
    princessbeth79

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 7:46 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • it docent matter what your X thought >_< hes your ex for a reason eh? what matters is what your SO thinks.
    Lakoia

    Answer by Lakoia at 7:43 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • I am not sure I'd call it manipulative, I'd call it being a d**k.
    TwoBrownDogs

    Answer by TwoBrownDogs at 8:33 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • Sounds to me like he doesn't find the "ideal" woman as attractive as you. Doesn't sound manipulative or controlling in the slightest.
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 7:45 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • Oh, I don't care what my ex thinks, I was just wondering if that could be the intended purpose of the statement.
    MeandMyBabes

    Comment by MeandMyBabes (original poster) at 7:44 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • It sounds manipulative to me too. I've been in that sort of relationship, but I was fortunate enough to not marry that person.

    Don't go back there in your mind too much, there's a reason he's your ex. Try not to dwell too much on the asinine things that he said to you.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 7:44 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • I don't see it as controlling but something didn't work because he is an ex.
    CorrinaWithrow

    Answer by CorrinaWithrow at 7:45 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • Who cares what an ex thinks. That's why they are left in the past. :)
    buzymamaof3

    Answer by buzymamaof3 at 8:07 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • I would find it insulting, but I wouldn't call it being manipulative. He's basically saying that you're not as attractive as X number of women, but you're good enough. Not that he'd even find you more attractive then those other women, but he settled with you. It's backwards ass way of getting under your skin.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 9:47 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

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