Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

how can I end up all the drama?

I haven't spoken really with my mother for over a month now. She is going through surgery today. We kind of stop talking to me because my husband said some truth stuff about her. She hates people telling her whenever she is wrong. The problem is everybody in my family agreed with him on what he told her. But now we are the bad ones =(. I don't know how to come to her since she was rejecting my calls and she hates my hubby now. How can I approch to her? Without feeling guilt for what happed, I mean she deserved it, and he wasn't mean. He was just telling her the truth. Other whise I would be the first one my husband would be hearing it from. PLEASE HELP!!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:10 PM on Oct. 30, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • send her flowers and say thinking of you get well we still you and miss you
    tryingmom203

    Answer by tryingmom203 at 2:13 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • sorry love you and miss you
    tryingmom203

    Answer by tryingmom203 at 2:13 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • just go tot he hospital. even though your husband may have been right, it's still your mother. Tell her you are sorry for what he said. My mother and i fight all the time and it's usually just a day or two and we are calling to apologize. we are a little too open with how we feel so we say what's on our mind. even though you feel your husband is right, you should still apologize, it's about respect. she's not going to be respectful of you unless you are with her
    SMWOODS

    Answer by SMWOODS at 2:15 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • Great advice above...Don't over do it--but open a door. She will come back around when she is ready.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:15 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • Oops..the great advice came from tryingmom203. Don't apologize for stating the truth....
    Stand beside your husband. It is all about respect...and you and your husband deserve it as well.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:17 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • This is a tough one because you love them both. Who's maling the bad ones, someone else in your family or just your mother? As far as her surgery goes, I would probably go even if you have to sit in the waithng room because it will (hopefully) show her that you still care even though you're nt seeing eye to eye right now and maybe in a coule of days or weeks, try talking to her again. And if that doesn't work, it may just be something that she has to realize on her own. I hope this helps some and sorry I couldn't be any more help. And I hope your mother's surgery goes well and she'll be ok. GL.
    LovingParent08

    Answer by LovingParent08 at 2:26 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • I'd send her something wishing her well but I wouldn't apologize for stating the truth. My MIL is like that....she's never wrong and I guess she just had everyone so bullied that they would let her have her way....till I came along. I don't fall for the bully thing and so now I am the devil. I would say try to work it out, but if it's been long term drama, you might just take time and have some space between you all. I dont' think there is anything wrong with. "I love you, but I am not going to kiss your butt either.."
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:30 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • personally i think she needs to get over it and see inwards with herself and stop acting selfish. she needs to learn that others have feelings and that they don't always revolve around her. if she is refusing your calls and you made efforts then i think she needs to decide if she will be the one to apologize or if she is going to be stubborn. i think that is tough love and sometimes parents need it just as much as children do. if you give in and not stand by your husband then she is getting her way again. i know this sounds rude but some people need to be accountable and see for themselves the truths that they don't see. she will get it and one day apologize to you. after she grows up. i think just send a small flower basket and say get well soon. that's it.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 2:39 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • Thanks everybody for your advice. I'll go see her if not today, tomorrow. She might be sent home by tomorrow. I just spoke to my dad. So far, it seems that her surgery went well. I'll do my best to try to go see her and if not possible, I'll try going tomorrow. lol
    Still somewhat depressed though, I'm a very sensitive person, but I've been putting myself in a position really dificult for me, because I would of apologize right after the incident.
    THANKS TO ALL OF YOU GUYS' ADVICE.
    LOL
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:54 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • i would give her some space. trying too hard might only make it worse. wait a week or two and then call, leave a message. keep it simple. say "I" need to talk to you. keep in touch with your dad, keep updated on her recovery. maybe have him say something. like telling her you want to come by. he might be a great mediator.
    imanixon2

    Answer by imanixon2 at 3:34 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.