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2 Bumps

Kids having a father OR a secure future?

I have a very good job. DH earns a lot less than me and he's managed to accumulate a lot of unnecessary debt. As a result we are struggling. My kids are growing out of their clothes, we can't afford even second hand clothes. We struggle to feed everybody. We can't even afford proper medical care for them. I'm at my wits end. I can easily support the kids and me without DH and his frivalous spending habits, which he refuses to change or see a counsellor for. Would you divorce him to save your kids from being neglected? Is emotional wellbeing more important than physical?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:02 AM on Oct. 28, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Financial issues is one of the most common reason for divorce.. In this case, if you can not afford the minimum for your kids, he needs to understand that the marriage is in danger, and he must change. I would separate expenses and have him pay part of the bills, before $$ goes to something else....

    Monica655

    Answer by Monica655 at 10:21 AM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • sounds like this is causing a strain on your marriage. maybe you can talk to him and explain to him that either he gets help of you will have separate finances. you can do this, still live together, he pays his portion of everything and you take care of yourself and the kids and he takes care of his debt. this is not something to divorce over, unless he decides to not take the option you have given him..
    Luisa621

    Answer by Luisa621 at 6:16 AM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • kids need both parents. Debts can be paid off and money spending problems can be dealt with.
    Zoeyis

    Answer by Zoeyis at 6:08 AM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • I think you need to get all the bills together and talk to him about what is going on. This should be done without the kids there. Try not to yell because that will lead to nothing getting done. It also sounds to me like you have already made up your mind. Know that only you can decide what is best for your family. If you do not think it is worth it to try and fix things then you aren't really going to want to try.

    Good Luck!
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 7:25 AM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • Separate your finances and let him pay his debt out of his own money.
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 8:36 AM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • sounds like its time to send the kids to a relative for a night and have a very serious night of showing him exactly how bad things are.
    katiPeas

    Answer by katiPeas at 6:27 AM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • Please elaborate, katiPeas
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:29 AM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • I would divide my money and have him pay for his own bills and debts waaaaayyy before I allowed my children to go without. If you can manage and maintain without his pay then you can manange and maintain with him still being in the household...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 12:46 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

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