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Will DH bully our kids like his dad did to them?

My FIL was a selfish, verbally abusive man. DH tried it with me in the beginning and I set him straight from day one. For the most part he's been allright with our DD. She's 7 months now. Yesterday he gave her the remote to play with while he was watching a movie. She managed to change the language preference. He put her down quite forcefully and yelled "WHAT DID YOU DO!!!" at her a few times. She started screaming and he called me to take her. He was pissy untill he figured out how to change it back. If that's how he acts when she didn't really do anything wrong, what will he do when she's old enough to knock things over etc.? Is this a view of things to come?

 
CassyzMom

Asked by CassyzMom at 7:13 AM on Oct. 28, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 17 (4,127 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • The cycle of abuse either physical or verbal is very hard to break. It will take a monumental effort on his part. And I would highly recommend counseling.
    DevilInPigtails

    Answer by DevilInPigtails at 8:58 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • Possibly. I would talk to him again. I would not yell or fight , I would just explain how you do not feel that is an appropriate way to act with your child. Sometimes people look at how thye grew up and do the exact oppisite, other do the exact same thing.

    I think you just need to set things staight now, although I would keep an eye on things as well to make sure it doesn't get worse.
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 7:17 AM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • Honestly, if I did not like the way he handled it, I would be straight with my husband about it, and address it immediately! Let him know you won't tolerate him talking to your daughter like that or acting like that with her anymore than you would let him treat you that way!
    mommy11260

    Answer by mommy11260 at 7:22 AM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • I would not start being too anxious yet. Like the previous poster, i would sit down and talk to him about your concerns. It couldbe that he had a long day, was overly tired etc. Parents are not perfect and they do tend to emulate how they were raised as well. You need to remember that he was not given any type of good role model for parenting. I think if you talk to him without accusation, blame, without making him out to be a bad person, just as a wife concerned that the TWO OF YOU are getting stressed out and how should you handle it as a united team. hmm?
    katiPeas

    Answer by katiPeas at 7:22 AM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • more thank likely yes, they don't call it a vicious circle for nothing
    adelinasmommy

    Answer by adelinasmommy at 7:25 AM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • Thanx mommy11260 but he's supersensitive when it comes to his fathering abilities. eg: I once said that she needs nappies,bum cream etc..he took it up that I was saying he's a bad father ( I know, constant eggshells). So I'll have to handle this very delicately
    CassyzMom

    Comment by CassyzMom (original poster) at 7:27 AM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • You will have to talk this over every so often. Look for some good bboks on parenting and read them and discuss them together. He can do this but has to work hard on it since his role model was his father.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 7:57 AM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • My DH's dad is like that to out oldest. He's about to be dealt with and it's not going to be pretty. He is jerk and makes fun of him and I find it awful! Why would you make fun or bully a child as an adult?! WTF? I hope you can get it straightened out :)
    kjbennett26

    Answer by kjbennett26 at 8:02 AM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • I think you should talk to him about it. I'd becareful how you worded things and let him know you just have concerns. Good luck!!
    Maddiesmommy123

    Answer by Maddiesmommy123 at 8:41 AM on Oct. 28, 2010

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