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When exaplaining about the divorce of parents what are the keys initial points to share with the children?

Answer Question
 
Deacon

Asked by Deacon at 10:52 AM on Oct. 28, 2010 in Relationships

Level 2 (4 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • 1. mom and dad both love you
    2 you will still see mom and dad but in different houses now
    3 you can come to me with any questions you have and i will answer them
    4. their is nothing the child did wrong
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 10:55 AM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • I think the most important thing to tell children is the divorce isnt their fault and momy and dad still love them very much. Hopefully the parent leaving isnt going to far. My dad loves about 30 minutes away which wasnt that far of a drive. My friend is divorced and moved many states away so those poor children have a lot of traveling to do.
    Owl_Feather

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 10:56 AM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • that the parent love them and its not their fault
    jessesmama22

    Answer by jessesmama22 at 10:56 AM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • I agree with all the answers so far. It is important that children know it is nothing they did or said. I think the reasons why should be kept age appropriate and do answer their questions. Don't try to hide or brush them off. Children understand and hear more than you realize.
    No matter what you say, I think the emotion you show with your responses does play a key in how they handle and process the situation. It is ok for them to see you sad or upset (I don't mean throwing things or out of control yelling/crying) those you do with friends/your support system.
    Speak in feeling terms- Mad, Glad, Sad, Hurt, Scared.
    jtcr4boyz

    Answer by jtcr4boyz at 11:11 AM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • My daughter was 9 when we went through our breakup 5 years ago. It was so incredibly hard on her. If I knew then what I know now, I would not have left my ex (I left because I was not in love). I've since found the love of my life and married him. But the cost and damage to my relationship with daughter doesn't seem worth it. I was miserable in my relationship but our daughter was happy. I think I was selfish for leaving and it still makes me sad.
    kathyartist2007

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 12:12 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • wow kathy, sooo honest!
    i see a neighbor going through some issues now, having a hard time dealing with the two houses.
    maybe warn your child that things will be different, and sometimes hard and sometimes unfair too. you are still a family and will have to work through things together.
    happy2bmom25

    Answer by happy2bmom25 at 12:21 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • With our son, I did most of the talking. I told him that although mommy and daddy were not going to live together anymore, we are always going to be his parents and love him more than anything in the world. We reiterated that we will always continue to keep him happy, healthy and safe. We told him that he will be able to spend time with Daddy and how Daddy would make him his own room at his house. I explained that sometimes people who are married have problems that they cannot fix, and it's no one's fault.
    rio_burb

    Answer by rio_burb at 1:09 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

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