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I have been reading a lot of posts about women complaining about their men watching porn...What is the big deal with them watching porn??

 
LiLJeni

Asked by LiLJeni at 1:19 PM on Oct. 28, 2010 in Relationships

Level 30 (44,491 Credits)
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Answers (28)
  • Every one has their own opinions or issues with it. Every marriage is different. What is a big deal to one is not so big to another. It's a personal, or some times religious decision. I think the big problem is that a lot of men lie about it. Then the wife finds out and feels betrayed. Questions come up like, "Why can't he just tell me? Does he enjoy this better than sex with me? Is he thinking about porn stars instead of me? If he knows this bothers me why does he still do it?" There are a multitude of reasons women *and men* don't agree with porn. People can also have low self esteem and think they aren't pleasing their partner and that must be why they are looking at porn. What difference does it really make if one couple watches porn and another doesn't? To each their own.
    Mrs.B3

    Answer by Mrs.B3 at 3:05 AM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • Porn seems innoscent but can be addictive. My DH was addicted and it took a lot for him to mostly give it up. he gave it up because it was consuming a large part of his day and interferring with our sex lfe and his desire to spend time with family. Without porn he is a different person.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:30 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • Ummm, because it is unappealing to most people.
    Andriya

    Answer by Andriya at 1:20 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • MOst people? LMAO, I know a ton of people that are into it. And if it wasn't so appealing why the hell is it a billion dollar industry???


    Second, not everyone is comfortable with it. Not all marriages work with porn. I don't have a problem with it myself, but it is wrong to tell another woman to get over it, it's just porn, without knowingt the dynamics of their relationship.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 1:23 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • Me personally.

    I have no issues with porn one way or the other.

    My view of what I see in regards to many that have issues in regards to porn.

    It's not really the Porn in and of itself that is the issue. The issue is their partner's behaviours/action, their partners lying about porn, their partners treating them differently in some way. So the porn is what is focused on for some reason, instead of the focus being on a partner that does not respect your feelings and lies to you.

    The other issue with porn that I mainly see is due to religion.People do not view porn and are not okay with their partners viewing porn due to their religious beliefs. Perfectly understandable. And again, if a partner knows that their spouse has issues with porn due to religious reasons. They know that when watching it. Again, at it's base, it's about a one partner not having respect for the others beliefs/feelings, not the porn itself.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 1:27 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • If you were just saying you wouldn't have called me out personally. And now that I think of it, you are in a way telling others to get over it..t(what's the big deal).....I'm getting the feeling by the way you argue some of these opinions that you are more looking for people who only agree with you, not a straight answer.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 1:34 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • i would have to agree with previous posts. i think what in fact your saying is get over it. well someone shouldn't have to get over their husbands addiction or deal with his disrespect to her feelings. this is why most women have a problem with it. the husband won't respect her feelings and maybe he has developed an addiction that only spells trouble. just cause you haven't seen the effects of porn doesn't mean that their isn't real issues out there that result from men watching porn. it is very disrespectful in a marriage where both don't agree that it's ok. not to mention the moral issues involved if someone is religious. porn has and will continue to ruin marriages and relationship of loved ones involved. so when it's a problem is why they have issues with it.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 2:25 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • My man watches porn, and i hate it because it feels like he is getting "off" to other women! Its just porn but its nasty!! he need to only be getting "off "to me
    ashes331

    Answer by ashes331 at 8:08 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • I have no idea....I dont care...me and DH will watch it together lol...and alone....
    Shelii

    Answer by Shelii at 1:21 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • LilJeni...

    You are right. Most of the time. The issue is not about the porn in and of itself. However, it is far easier to just be upset about porn, and demand that porn be gone from your relationship. Than it is to accept and deal with the fact that your partner just isn't respecting your feelings &/or agreements that the two made.

    It's like some women who get upset because porn makes them feel bad about themselves. That stems from within themselves. Not the porn. How they view themselves, how they feel about themselves, makes them feel that way, not the porn. The porn just gives them an outside entity to use to reinforce their own negative feelings about themselves. It's easier for some to blame porn for how they feel about themselves, than it is to admit that they and they alone control and create their self image/self view.

    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 1:35 PM on Oct. 28, 2010