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2 Bumps

Why do some mother's feel the need to use books and manuals as a guide for parenting?

Do you think kids turn out better if the parents have a "plan"?


Asked by Anonymous at 2:08 PM on Oct. 28, 2010 in Parenting Debate

This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • I never used a book and followed it to plan, HOWEVER, I have read MANY books and articles and medical reports and testing and studies and THEN chose what was best legally, mentally and healthwise for my kid.

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 2:12 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • I read books before and after my first was born so I could get an idea of what kinds of things to expect. I don't raise my kids from books but I don't think there is anything wrong with picking up a book for new ideas or to learn different ways to deal with unfamiliar situations.

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 2:29 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • I think reading about child rearing is wonderful. I don't remember how my parents raised me before I was at least preschool age so doing it the way I was taught wouldn't help me much. Why would I go forward with something so important without gathering as much information as possible? I don't read anything and follow it to the letter, but I do read what I can and take from it the things that ring true to me or fit in with what my goals are for parenting. It's also good to know what to expect of your child, and what things they should be capable of at what ages, etc. so that you have realistic expectations and do not expect too much or too little. The Breastfeeding Book really helped me be a successful breast feeder, for example, and I read it while pregnant and later while nursing and it helped me feel confidant in what I was doing. To me it's crazy not to look to books for information and resources.

    Answer by MaryMW at 2:20 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • reading, information gathering is different than having a plan
    getting all the info you can, and using what works for you is great
    having a plan...HA HA...isn't that an onximoron
    having kids and having a plan...does that ever work? LAMP

    for me, i have learned that planning to change the plan at a moments notice is more pratical that making a plan and having to sticjk with it, being a mom (to me) is thinking on your feet, and having a few backup plans ready,
    because life throws you curve balls all the time

    just my feelings

    Answer by fiatpax at 2:26 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • I read a couple pregnancy books, and I have a couple books about children but I don't read them very often. I pick them up if I want to get some idea about whether I should be worried about something or not, or to get ideas on how to handle certain situations. I DEFINITELY pick and choose what seems right for me and my child though, and advice from family, friends, and our pediatrician get weighed with each decision too. We have the Baby Owner's Manual and Toddler Owner's Manual, and while they have had some helpful tips in them, I mostly think they're just funny to read. I also have a general book for children age 0-5 that has some helpful information about illnesses, etc. I generally use the books as a resource if I need to research something I'm unsure of, rather than living by the books. I always thought other people did the same thing, but maybe not.

    Answer by pam19 at 2:53 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • I don't think there's anything wrong with reading books (I haven't touched a parenting book since my first was a baby 10 years ago) it's just some people think the books and "experts" are the be all, end all to the story.  They feel they have to follow the books to a T to be good parents and refuse to rely on their own instincts at all.

    Then again, because of the way people raise kids now, most grown women have no experiences with kids.  I'm told it's wrong to have my older kids help with the baby but how else do people learn to raise kids.  In the past it was through helping with younger siblings, etc.


    Answer by justanotherjen at 2:53 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • I read "Dr Spock's Book of Baby and Child Care" back in the 60's but basically went with my own feelings and the Pediatricians' advice whereever we were based in the USA and Germany. They all turned out fine.

    Answer by kerp1960 at 2:54 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • When I was first pregnant i read the books, took the classes, the whole bit. I wanted to do it all "right". Then I went by what was right for my child and my family. None of those books and articles prepared me for the journey my second born set us on.

    Answer by duckigrrl at 4:12 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • Like duckgrrl said no books prepares you for this journey, you learn as you go, trial and error.....reading is fine too, education can never be bad, but you should not only rely on books, you need to listen to your mother instinct and gut feelings too.

    Answer by older at 8:17 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • Books and manuals are very good learning tools just because you may have had children or have motherly instincts does'nt mean you can't learn something new. I learn something almost every time I read.

    Answer by Momabear455 at 8:42 PM on Oct. 28, 2010