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Grounded from Halloween?

My 10 1/2 year old stepdaughter yesterday had a really bad temper and caused herself a lot of trouble. After being warned, she continued to run her mouth, saying things I'm sure she'd regret. She ended up calling me a f******* b*****, which she has never done before. She also was throwing things, including pushing her 4 year old sister across the room. I was so mad that I said she was grounded for three weeks. She asked me if this included trick or treating and I said YES. I for sure won't let her go out with her friend like she wanted to but my question is should I let her go with her dad, me, and her little sisters? Halloween is only once a year... I don't know what to do!!

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Asked by AlishaMommy at 3:26 PM on Oct. 30, 2008 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (10)
  • You said she was grounded from Trick or Treating, with no qualifications, right? Just no trick or treating, not "no trick or treating with your friend"? If it was plain "no trick or treating" I say make her stay home. Don't go back on your word, or she'll never respect you, and never believe you. Keep it consistent and don't ever back down or you'll have hell with her from now on. If it was "No trick or treating with your friend" then take her with you, and make sure she stays with you.

    Answer by debra_benge at 3:33 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • umm yes u shud b! it only comes once a year! and u r grounding her from family activties, my personal opion is to either say like compromise with her, be like, look, i will let you go trick or treating, butonly if u strongly apologise to me and then add like a day or two to her current thing. or just let her pick to not apologise and saty at home! u shud really let her go!! shes only 10! kids will be kids! kids look forward to that all year long, she will hatwe you for the rest of your life if you dont!!!

    Answer by tiffany275 at 3:33 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • and the girl who just answered, not to be rude, but your answer is just trying to make you look good and stuf, like how if u said no trick or treating with your friends, then she can go with u. but no trick or treating, thats wrong! how you just wouldnt let her go to kake urself loook good!

    Answer by tiffany275 at 3:35 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • We are going through the same exact thing right now. My husband told our daughter she was not allowed to go to a halloween party, and I thought it was too harsh because it only comes once a year. I would say take her with the family. For a ten year old that may not make her happy, because she probably wants to be independent and go with her friends.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:37 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • Stick to it. Don't let her go trick-or-treating.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:02 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • Tiffany - Debra was merely asking how specific she had been about the restrictions. She was not telling her to blatently not let her go. Anyways, I happen to be in agreement with Debra. First off that kind of language coming out of a ten year old is just upsetting to me, and pushing her 4year old sister around is totally unappropriate. Secondly, you're mincing words and making it about semantics (You told her NO to the trick or treating) - not just with her friend (even if that was all you initially intended). And no you're daughter will not end up hating you for the rest of her life either. Despite the fact that this Holiday only comes around once a year, this might be a once in a lifetime time to teach a lesson....... Just my opinion- Keep your word - or she will continue to disrespect you

    Answer by RepentantSinner at 12:31 AM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • We just went thru a similar situation. Last Friday, my children's principal called to me that both our older two kids were getting suspended from school Monday for fighting which meant that we had to physically take them to school Tuesday and have a conference with him before they were allowed back to school. Well, their fall festival/school dance was that night and as much as we would have loved to let them go, we didn't. And it was really hard for me (because I volunteered to chaperone) when their friends came up to ma asking where they were also, it was their first function outside of school other than their after school programs.

    Answer by LovingParent08 at 12:45 AM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • But we stood our ground and didn't let them go and IMHO you shouldn't let your daughter go bc what are we teaching them? Nothing. Rules are rules and need to be followed and if not, there are consequences.

    Answer by LovingParent08 at 12:46 AM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • Yes my daughter is grounded from halloween too she has ADHD and she does not cuss thank god but she is loud and she gets in trouble for always talking we have made her right sentences over and over grounded her and we take away privelages and she still keeps on doing it it's not her grades it's her attitude

    Answer by monica277 at 5:21 AM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • No I would not let her go. You said she could not and you have to stick with that. Even if that means that you or you DH has to stay home with her. If you let her get away with it now then she is going to think she can get away with it again.

    I also think that maybe you should try and talk to her with out yelling. I know that I had this problem with my oldest and I found that if I was angry and yelling it only made things worse. Now I try to approach things calmly. This does not always happen, but since we started it things have gotten much better.

    Good Luck

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 8:52 AM on Oct. 31, 2008

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