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How would you handle your college son who is failing a class?

I just checked his midterm and he is failing biology and has a D in english, he gets full financial aid. I was so angry that I removed his xbox from his room and cleaned off his desk so that he can start getting serious about school. He also has a laptop that I think I might have to get rid of too, but I'm sure he needs it for school. I am so upset with him, he went through high school without studying and he probably thinks that he can do it with college. I want him to go away to college next fall, but now I don't know if he will be able to if he continues with these grades. I am going to tell him that he better get xtra help and bring up those grade.

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:27 PM on Oct. 28, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (10)
  • If you get below a 2.0 you will looses your financial aid. Period. It's hard at that age, as I don't think they grasp the severity of their choices yet, I know back then I didn't. I finished college and all, but made poor financial choices that took me about 5-7 years to get out of. He needs to straighten up. Take whatever you need to take that YOU pay for, including that cell phone. That'll get his attention. Can't get those things back until his grades are where they need to be. At least a C....and if you see he is busting his ass and is still not pulling his grades up at least you know the effort is there. I had to do a couple classes twice, cause they were just so over my head. But I took them over to at least have a C on my record and get rid of the D. But you can only do so much.

    Answer by 2BlondeBabies at 2:31 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • If he's in college it really needs to let this be HIS problem and not mine. I would probably just tell him that I'd be happy for him to stay with me as long as he is going to school, but if he fails out or loses his financial aid he will need to look for another place to stay. Let it be his choice.

    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 2:35 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • have him drop biology and the english class - he will likely get a W (withdrawn) and have to take and pay for those classes again but you cannot have a D and an F on your report card or you will never get a good job - dont let him damage his GPA. then ride him to get better grades in the rest of the classes and reenroll next spring in eng and bio.

    Answer by AmaliaD at 2:37 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • I do not know nothing about financial aid. But if he is over 18. You can not do much about it. But maybe kick him out of your house. Stop giving him money if you are.

    Answer by louise2 at 2:41 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • They will take his financial aid if his courses attempted vs courses completed aren't good. And withdrawing from a course counts as a COURSE ATTEMPTED for the percentages.
    Sorry but a D and F on a college report card have nothing to do with getting a job. My husband is an engineering manager and while he does ask recent college grads for a GPA he does not as for their transcript to look at each and every grade. What he's looking for is a competent college GRADUATE!

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 4:41 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • If this is an example of what he’ll do going away for college then I don’t think he is really. He doesn’t seem to be serious about his studies. If they take away financial aid then I guess there will be no college.

    Answer by musicmom08 at 9:05 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • You need to sit down and have a talk with him about his long term goals, and he needs to be the one doing most of the talking. If he needs to take a year off and learn what it is like to have a full time job and get a reminder of why he is going to college in the first place that might be an excellent idea. He needs to find out the rules at his college about dropping so late in the semester and what that might do to his full time status. Every college is different on that. In some cases when you retake a class you can drop the previous grade and in some you just end up with 3 hours of F from the first time and then 3 hours of C the second time. He needs to think about which classes he likes and does well in as well as improve his study habits.

    Answer by LoveMyDog at 8:54 AM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • It sounds like even if he goes away to college next fall, he may still slack off. The "horror stories" you hear about the college kids doing nothing but slacking off and partying are based on truth. A lot of it.
    Let him know that if his GPA slips down to 2.0, he loses his financial aid and YOU are not going to cover his tuition. Reiterate (I'm assuming you've already mentioned this) that this isn't a free ride.
    Most kids spend their first year of college figuring out if they're even ready for college. I had a boyfriend who did exactly this. He did well all through high school, but became discouraged and lazy. By the time the first year was over, he'd realized that he wasn't ready for college yet. (He's now married, a proud father of two, and works for the government.)
    The other posters have also given you some great ideas to jump from. Good luck!!

    Answer by _Tam_ at 6:29 PM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • He will lose his financial aid if he keeps up this pace so he won't have to worry about attending college at all. I hope he is not smoking marijuana or taking drugs, or drinking. Lots of college kids do and they become complacent about studying and grades. I would tell him to talk to his college advisor and express any concerns he might have about his grades. You sound very upset and I can totally understand. He is disappointing you and falling short of your expectations. Let him know this. Also, could he just not care so much about college and is just going to please you? Could he be depressed? Try talking to him in a calm voice and try to get off his case. I think it just makes them rebel more. I've been there and done that. Good luck.

    Answer by twinkletoes0408 at 7:42 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • they won't take his financial aid they will put him on probation academic and financial aid, my son failed two classes and i made him go to community college , he's now doing really well a's and b's and he'll be going back to the University in the summer, he'll be junior when he goes back..

    Answer by juju40 at 7:54 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

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