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My Ex-husband 26 (2 kids dad) is in jail for dating a 16 yr old what to do i tell my kids?? How does a mother react when the kids ask where their dads at or why they cant see him or call him???

He will always be my kids dad so what do i do how do i feel??

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juliajeffries

Asked by juliajeffries at 2:49 PM on Oct. 28, 2010 in Relationships

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • How old are the kids? For that matter, how mature are they to understand concepts of crime and punishment and how sometimes (relatively) good people do something dumb and get in trouble?
    geminilove

    Answer by geminilove at 2:52 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • My 7 year olds father has been in and out of jail since my son was 13 months. I told my son that his Dad was away at work and they had no phone. He was young though, like 2-3... His dad is in jail again and this time I told my son the truth, that his dad did something very bad and he is in trouble because of it so he is in jail. It sucked but my son had to know and I am tired of lying to cover up for that POS.
    Mena929

    Answer by Mena929 at 2:52 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • Daddy made a mistake and had to go to jail for a while. Even grown ups make mistakes. Maybe one day when you are a little older I can help you write a letter.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:52 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • I think I would tell the children that daddy has made some bad choices and had to go away for a while. You may have to explain briefly what a judge is and then explain that the judge said that daddy must stay away.
    mommasims97

    Answer by mommasims97 at 2:53 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • I told my son that his BM was in jail because she would not do what she was supposed to do. I explained to him when grownups get into trouble that they have to go to jail.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 2:56 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • Tell them he did not hurt anyone but he broke the law and will be back soon. My DD's father is in jail also. I use it as a learning tool. When she acts up I tell her that everyone has rules even grown ups and she remembers hr dad is away and I tell her your daddy is away because he did not listen and I do not want that to happen to her.
    delilahsmom1177

    Answer by delilahsmom1177 at 2:58 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • I tell my kids that just like when kids make a wrong choice, and have to be on a time out or grounded, grown ups have to be on a time out or grounded (jail) when they make some wrong choices. This lets the child know that they are not responsible for their parents behavior - yet helps them learn to accept responsibility for their own wrong choices as well. This can be understood by kids of nearly all ages.
    Babylove76

    Answer by Babylove76 at 3:12 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • Tell them something,but make it on their age level.It really depends on what you say as to how old they are.But if they were teens and you had a daughter, that would really bother me.
    evelynwest

    Answer by evelynwest at 6:17 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • I'd tell them the truth. It might have to be done in small doses. But he is convicted as a child molester? I'm not sure why he couldn't talk to his own kids unless this was true. If he was convicted as a paedophile then being honest is the only way to deal with this. He was in an inappropriate relationship with a 16 year old child and the state feels he's a danger to all children, even his own. You may not feel that way, but the state makes the laws that we must follow. He broke the rules and this is his punishment.

    I'm sorry for you kids loss. This is not going to be easy for them to understand or accept.
    isabellalecour

    Answer by isabellalecour at 9:40 AM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • My daughter is 6 and son is 4 yrs old...IDK what he is charged with but im going to tell him soon.
    juliajeffries

    Comment by juliajeffries (original poster) at 12:12 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

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