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4 Bumps

HIV test

Im so scared right now. Someone just called and told me that my friend with benifits for the last year and half has been sleeping with men!!! I dont know what to do or say to him. I have no idea if he used protection or not. Im going to make an appt and get tested. How would deal with this situation

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:50 PM on Oct. 28, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • get all your information first...don't do or say anything till you have proof about this...then you should seek counseling if you get the bad news...MAMA I WILL PRAY FOR YOU...best of luck and i hope so much everything goes well...
    iNk-FrEaK

    Answer by iNk-FrEaK at 4:53 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • i would look at my recent choice of friends with benefits
    and most likley not do this anymore!
    i would get tested, sweat until i got results
    also may have to get retested- depends on last time with the "friend with benefits"
    (at least this was how test worked years back when i found my husbnad was a cheater) (maybe test more accurate now?)

    i would most likely not be having sex for some time now
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 4:53 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • Just because he sleeps with men doesnt mean he has HIV! Your so freaking ignorant! Maybe YOU should have use protection while sleeping with him!
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 4:53 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • All you can do is get tested...for all STDs not just HIV. Men can pass around all the different diseases too. I would probably be scared too...and angry, confused, frustrated, like I was betrayed. Hang in there and just deal with the test results!
    michelle121003

    Answer by michelle121003 at 4:55 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • yea, fiatpax no sex for awhile until you know for sure!! If going without is too tough just use a toy - they are usually faithful!!
    I had to be tested last year from an assault and it seemed to be almost asap then again in 6 mos and again another year.
    mom2priceboys

    Answer by mom2priceboys at 4:56 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • Get tested! Quit sleeping with him! And don't have sex with a man without KNOWING if he's wearing a condom or not! A condom is a GIVEN when having sex with a man that you aren't 100% knowing of his sexual background!
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 4:58 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • i say get tested but dont go say he may have a std just cause hes bi that isnt right
    Kittty_Katt

    Answer by Kittty_Katt at 5:00 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • So, all gays/bi's have HIV/AIDS? Hummm....
    It's word of mouth by the way-how do you know it's true?
    This is what happens in a classic case of "I didn't use a condom"
    I wouldn't have sex w/anybody else either-condoms don't protect against it.
    I sure hope you don't have it---But this better be a HUGE life lesson for you. I sure wouldn't wanna tell my kids/next partner this.
    Chell.o_0

    Answer by Chell.o_0 at 5:05 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • Since you have a "friend with benefits" wouldn't it be wise to use protection each and every time? Why would you sleep with someone who your not in a committed relationship with without protection? Are you begging for a disease?
    Queen2245

    Answer by Queen2245 at 5:10 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • Just because he's BI doesn't mean that he has any STDs. I understand what you're feeling, and I've been through the wringer with HIV testing (Ex husband cheated, A LOT).
    Having "friends with benefits" can be a really great situation, if you are practicing safe sex (which you weren't). I hope that you've learned a lesson from this experience- but I wouldn't base my fear on what the 'friend' said either. If you have questions, you should ask him, and not be confrontational about it either, that doesn't help anyone.

    You *may* have to be retested depending on how recently you slept with him, and I suggest that you go for a full work up, not just HIV. I've had 13 HIV tests in the past 10 years (1 after each partner, and 7 while married)- I'm due for another one when I get my yearly pap... Its just the responsible thing to do, there are many other ways to contract HIV outside of unprotected sex.
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 5:15 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

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