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3 Bumps

should i leave or stay?

I dont know what to do anymore. My husband smokes pot and drinks heavily to where he curses to the kids and is mean to them when I 'm at work. He even drives drunk with them. I want to leave but I have a 10 year old who screams and yells no when I mention it . I know it is not good on the kids when he also likes to cause arguments and calls me names. I am only in the relationship because me being in debt and without his measley part time job and leaving him I would be in even more debt and probably could not survive with the money.

Answer Question
 
momoftracey

Asked by momoftracey at 7:57 PM on Oct. 28, 2010 in Relationships

Level 2 (7 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • For me the drugs and alcohol would be a deal breaker. And cussing at the children- they don't need to be around this kind of behavior and influence.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 7:59 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • get out of that situation
    letstalk747

    Answer by letstalk747 at 8:00 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • Yes leave & get professional help

    remember if your husband gets caught DUI with th kids youre as guilty as he is in the yes of the Court so make the first move
    MELRN

    Answer by MELRN at 8:01 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • You can't let a 10 year old make that decision for you. You are the adult. You have to act like an adult. This is not a good environment for you or the kids. And you know that. What if he wreaks while driving drunk? He will probably not get hurt, drunk drivers usually don't, but the kids will. I'd leave. Find a way. Call your creditors. Make arrangements. Make adjustments. But find a way out. How long until him being mean turns into physical abuse? Or, how long until his smoking pot, drinking and drunk driving will cause someone to call CPS on you, and the kids be taken from you? Lots of women make it on their own. 2 of my sisters did it with kids. With debt. You can do it.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 8:02 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • Yes leave, there are programs out there that can help, call a local shelter or the human services dept they can help and know all the right people to help you get on your feet.
    countrygirl06

    Answer by countrygirl06 at 8:03 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • LEAVE him. Seriously, you sound like you just described my Mom and Dad's marriage to a "T". My Mom wanted to leave my Dad but had three children and wasn't "allowed" to work. My brother was about 15 when she finally decided to do it, but anytime she mentioned it my brother said that he would start doing badly in school, not care anymore, etc, etc ( He is now 25 and in the Marines Reserves and in the FBI training academy, so he didn't do badly, lol). You have to do what YOU have to do to make YOU happy, and in making YOU happy, that will make your children happy. My Mom didn't think she could do it on her own either but guess what...SHE DID. You shouldn't stay somewhere that your children are being driven around drunk or abused in ANY fashion. You are stronger than you think! Good Luck!
    kamsmommy17

    Answer by kamsmommy17 at 8:14 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • you need to leave him asap. Thats not okay for him to do that to you or the kids, good luck
    meagan678

    Answer by meagan678 at 8:19 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • Yes, leave. Good luck!!!
    arenad

    Answer by arenad at 8:27 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • I feel you 100% My stepdaughter's mother was the same way toward her... She wanted to keep being around her but my husband refused... my SD was very angry w/my husband until one day she had a basketball game and her mom showed up in those bug like sunglasses everyone is wearing these day drunk! She didn't watch my SD game at all. She just read the local newspaper the entire hour... And what is worse, it was my SD team mates that noticed she was there and called her out while she was still reading... Your kids need YOU! I know times are tuff, but what is going to be worse in the long run? Kids that blame you for not doing anything to get them out of that place or them respecting you in the long run for putting them first? I will be praying for you! Hang in there God will deliver!
    believejohn316

    Answer by believejohn316 at 8:31 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

  • I have left before and now I am leaving for the last time. It does no good for either your kids or you maybe you should try alanon for people related drug addicts and drunks. It can only help you make up your mind. GL Momma
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 8:34 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

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