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How do I handle sending clothes back and forth between houses?

I married a man with kids and we buy a lot of the kids things including clothes but when the kids go back to their mom's for the weedend she expects us to send clothes for them. I think she should have clothes there for them and not rely on the things we bought. She recently bought school clothes for them and she wants them to bring these clothes with them when they come. I don't think we should is that wrong of me?

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ruf2rider

Asked by ruf2rider at 4:54 PM on Oct. 30, 2008 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (12)
  • I have the same battle with my daughter and my ex. He does buy clothes for her to wear while she's at his house but we do end up with things at our house that belong at his and vice versa. Luckily I have a great relationship with his wife and I call her up and say "okay we need to do a swap" so I'll bag up the clothes and items that belong at their house and she'll do the same and we'll be back on track for a while. I really try not to sweat it unless it's getting to the point where she doesn't have enough clothes or seasonally proper clothes here. It just makes things easier for me and my daughter without all the drama that goes along with "This belongs at my house, bring it back" See if you can reach some sort of compromise with the mother.
    mrswright1170

    Answer by mrswright1170 at 4:58 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • My kids pack a bag and bring their clothes back, like a sleep over. Their dad has none of their posessions except a few toys and games.
    Maddape48854

    Answer by Maddape48854 at 8:57 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • My daughter has clothes here & at her dad's house. Whatever she wears over ends up in our laundry, she wears something else back to his place, and then that ends up in HIS laundry so its like an ongoing cycle of clothing. sometimes she needs something that is there so i tell her "bring that red dress over" or sometimes she has a shirt or something here she wants to take back there so she does. Really she has way enough clothes at both places so its not an issue. I agree that there should be some middle ground you could come to about it. Really, its not worth her fighting about it w/ you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:55 AM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • Does she pay child support??? I have primary residential custody of my kids. When they visit their dad, I send the clothes I have at my home. It's really not that big of a deal. If he (or the kids) forgets something, they're up front with me about it, and I ALWAYS get everything back. IMO (no bashing here... you know what they say about opinions) I think it's rediculous to have mommy's clothes and daddy's clothes. Who cares? They belong to the kids! What kind of example is that teaching the kids to tell them you don't want them taking their clothes to the other parent's house? Sounds juvenile to me. I agree with a previous poster... it's like a sleep over.
    praisinghim2day

    Answer by praisinghim2day at 1:50 PM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • i think you have your answer, i also think you must be really bored, stop worrying about this so much there freaking clothes not body parts, if "their father" wants to buy them the moon let him he had them before he had you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:25 PM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • I feel so blessed my ex and I dont have this issue. CLothes are clothes. They are all for my son. IT doesnt matter if its his house or mine. Remember its for the kid. Talk it over with the mother and try and work something out.
    navyjen

    Answer by navyjen at 2:30 PM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • I have that problem. my ex pays 75 a mo for our 8yr old based on me making more income than him. My son I get nothing from his dad. its so hard. my daughters father has lots of stuff for her at his house but she bring nothing over. how sad. my hubby on the other hand let's his girls take it all to there moms. that's the way it should be. the stuff is the kids not the adults. you are making thigs worse really for peace.
    JCRestoredme

    Answer by JCRestoredme at 3:26 PM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • We have SS EOW and we only furnish clothing for him at our home, not his moms (that's what CS is for) and I make sure to wash the clothes from his moms and he goes back home in them Sun. evening. I know the trouble though, if he wears something from here over there we never see it again.
    PROGENITOR

    Answer by PROGENITOR at 3:34 PM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • I pack a weekend overnight bag. When she'd leave clothes over there by the time I'd get them back they wouldn't fit her anymore! I buy most the clothes so I want them back so she could wear them while they fit her. He does buy her toys that she's "not allowed" to bring here. I think it's pathetic but so is he. Whenever he does buy her clothes they are either too small, or a duplicate to something I already bought her (TARGET).
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:29 PM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • Oh, don't listen to the negative remarks being said. They don't know the situation past the tiny bit you wrote, so no one can judge you. Yeah, it is just clothing, but when you cannot afford to constantly buy your children clothes it's nice to be able to have them sent back. 90% of the clothing that SS takes to his moms from our house doesnt come back and then he'll come to our home and he won't have it. He doesn't pack a bag with him, they are too scatter brained to do something like that in the other household, and he often comments on how he is out of clean clothes at his moms (they don't do regular laundry). He is almost ten though, so maybe we should try to visit the issue. I think toys and things should go back and forth at the child's discrestion, but clothing is something that the kid needs as both homes.
    PROGENITOR

    Answer by PROGENITOR at 2:27 PM on Nov. 1, 2008

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