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is it weird being friends with husband ex?

ok, so my husband and i moved to another town. we went to a church activity and we sat at the very table that his ex-girlfriend was sitting at. this ex he almost married and when she married someone else instead she came to him and said had you asked me first i would of married you. he cut off all ties. she lived 3 doors down from our new house but moved but still is in the ward boundaries so she goes to our church still. she brought over a cake and made me a bird house for me. she is supper nice. i want to be friends with her although my husband hasn't said no, i think he is uncomfortable. i don't think he wants to say cause we are newly married and wants to please me. i know her husband doesn't like my man one bit. he must know. should i be friends or not?


Asked by melody77 at 4:55 PM on Oct. 30, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (12)
  • personally if you are in a "ward" with the person my guess is in that church you are taught to love one another. Im not saying you need to be the new hang out couples of the yr but honestly as long as you keep it to whats current and not what they has kindness is never a bad thing. You may end up having callings together of something so i wouldnt make an effort not to be friends if i were you. In the grand scheme of things we are all brothers and sisters and if we all make it back to heaven i dont think you will care who once dated who you will just be happy you all made it

    Answer by Rysana at 5:03 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • Ehh, I'd be her friend. Just distant ones. Like if you guys get together... only you two. No family outings lol. Go to coffee shops, etc.

    Answer by Sandiii at 4:59 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • I know that right now I would like a "good" friend so bad I can't stand it and would love to jump on any oppertunity to have one..... but...... at the same time I would never want to put my husband in that kind of uncomfortable situation, I would say talk to him and see how he feels but like you said you are newley married and he will probably not want you to know he is not really into the idea...I know that I would feel weird if my husband and my ex were hanging out. I guess you just have to really asess the situation and see how this makes him REALLY feel and if this new friendship is worth a little bit of possible marital stress.... good luck!!!

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 5:02 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • I would keep her at a distance. There is something I don't trust about this situation. I'm not trying to be negative, it's just a hunch. My mom always says be careful of the ones that smile in your face. I'm curious as to how you moved to another town and your new house happened to be 3 doors down from her!

    Answer by hopelessnance at 5:05 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • I agree with hopelessnance lol

    Answer by tryingmom203 at 5:07 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • I think that if it makes your husband uncomfortable, that should trump everything. If you were to become friends, conversations would inevitably settle into areas that you may not want to know about (and could hurt your relationship with hubby). I think it is best to be friendly but not friends. Leave well enough alone.

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 5:13 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • I wasn't friends with my x's X,(hope that makes sense) I was friends with his 2nd wife. It was easier for our family because of the girls.It is a lot better for most people if they can get along, it stops soap operas and stuff. if she is nice to you and treats you with respect, whats the harm in that?

    Answer by Kat122 at 5:34 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • I'd respect my hubby's wishes and not do it. It's just weird. I wouldn't want him to be buddy buddy with any of my ex's. You can be civil but I wouldn't schedule any girls nights out.

    Answer by MarlyeGirl at 5:43 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • i've been friends with my SO's exes... but so have they. I'm glad she is such a super person... guess your hubby has good taste. i can completely understand him not wanting you two to get close... we women talk about EVERYTHING. and it's great that you are not jealous. is there a reason the other guy doesn't like your hubby? since you go to the same church, it's not like you can avoid her without looking like a jerk. but i would limit the interaction to church for now. your relationship with your husband is your priority.

    Answer by figaro8895 at 5:48 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • Geez, this is a tough one! I say, if all else fails, keep your friends close and your enemies closer! ;-) You don't necessarily have to decide whether she is truly a friend or a danger, but it would be a good idea always to keep your eyes and ears open. If you doubt anything at all, then you have your answer.

    Answer by sarah_smile at 5:53 PM on Oct. 30, 2008