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2 Bumps

Why does it stop? adult content

Why is it that once we've been in a relationship for awhile, we stop "fooling around" with each other, sexually? We stop making out, sex becomes this relatively mechanical thing... DH just takes off his clothes and gets into bed; there's no transition anymore. Then they wonder why we're not so into it like we used to be.


Asked by musicpisces at 1:17 AM on Oct. 29, 2010 in Relationships

Level 45 (195,010 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • My personal experience throughout my 25 year marriage is this.

    That only happens in a relationship, IF a couple allows it to happen.

    Any relationship is what the 2 people in that relationship make it. A relationship is as exciting, fun, passionate, etc.. as the 2 people in that relationship want it to be.

    Even when a couple is first together those things don't just happen. Both parties act in a manner in which brings those things on. We flirt, we make out, we look at one another a certain way, touch each other in a certain way etc. We purposefully do those things in order to entice a partner, to make them want us, to make them want to be with us.The reason those passions cool after a couple has been together for awhile,is because the couple stops acting on those things, they stop trying to entice one another and make our partners want us.

    Those feelings can come back. When those types of actions come back.

    Answer by pixie_trix at 1:30 AM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • I don't have that problem with dh and didn't have it with my ex husband even after years of marriage. You have to make it a priority to keep that spark alive. Give him a long kiss when he leaves for work or when you're watching a movie, fondle him. I'm all about keeping the sexual spark between dh and I alive. As long as our kids aren't around, I'll climb on top of him while he watches tv and make out with him. He does the same things with me.
    Try doing some random sexual thing to him and see where it gets ya.

    Answer by dmdblleb at 1:25 AM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • The sex life part is like a flame. Its so hot in the beginning but u have to keep it lit... and if it goes out you got to relight it...

    Answer by Miss_Angela at 1:27 AM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • it dosent ahve to be that way. have youtalked to him? tried to spice thigns up?

    Answer by 2boysmommy.js at 1:22 AM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • I have wondered the same thing. It gets to be less frequent too as time goes on. It can be upsetting. My husband blames stress, and when I ask him about the lack of intimacy he sometimes turns it around and asks me how I can even think about sex during such stressful times. I tell him it's not the sex, it's the feeling close that I want during these times. I hate thinking bad thoughts, but it's hard not to when there's so much rejection (or less connection during intimacy). I guess it's all about communication and figuring out exactly where the problems are and what each of you can do to mix it up a bit, make it more interesting. I don't know what else to say really, and I'm interested in what other moms say.

    Answer by Sharell8710 at 1:28 AM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • I know what you mean...what happened to just making out? ..the build up, the go from kissing and teasing to, here's my penis honey, do with it what you will, lol...or they dive down there without even kissing you, just goin to! Do we have to teach them EVERYTHING??

    Answer by chocolatluver at 1:28 AM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • i do not have this husband tell me he does not have sex with me he makes love to me...and many years later he still holds me kisses me and is a total romantic love making man...

    Answer by iNk-FrEaK at 1:33 AM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • I don't have that problem. BUt I guess it stops because the relationship is not a priority for many people after they've been together for awhile.

    Answer by gulfcoastmom4 at 8:06 AM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • I know what you mean! I've told DH that the build up is pretty important to me, but he wants to skip right to getting off. Since he goes WAY before I do, I'm often left feeling let down. We've been married almost 12 years, and trying to spice things up doesn't work.

    Answer by Mrs.B3 at 1:33 AM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • People get comfortable after a while, fall into routines.
    Relationships go through cycles. It's not always going to be hot and heavy.

    That said, it does require work. You have to MAKE it happen.
    If your Dh doesn't start things, then YOU do it. It's not all up to hiim to
    get things going.

    Answer by LadyCash at 8:47 AM on Oct. 29, 2010