Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What should I do with her?

She is 12 years old and her father and I trusted her to go to her friends house (Cayla) for the night. I drove her over there and talked with the girls mom for a 10mins since I already knew her real well. Cayla is 13 and my daughter is 12. Well Cayla asked my daughter if she wanted to go to a party with her and she said yes. Keep in mind I didnt know about the party till 3am. When I got a call from Cayla's mom. Cayla had asked her mom but her mom told her no and they snuck out anyways. Her mom called me to inform me that the girls had snuck out. Then I went and picked my daughter up and took her home and I talked to her. Then I threatned to get dad involed and that is when she told me she had sex. I asked her was this her first time and she said no. Then I asked how many times and she said over 8 times with 4 diffrent guys since she was 11.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:44 PM on Oct. 30, 2008 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (22)
  • First take her to the Dr. Find out who she is having sex with to make sure she is not beingt aken advantage of by someone older. She is looking for something I would just sit and talk with her about what she is doing and maybe think about some counsling

    Answer by abellvalerie at 5:49 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • She told me she thinks she is pregnant. I'm scared if she is because in my family we dont believe in abortions. So should I let her keep the baby if she is? and just raise the baby as my own?

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:01 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • Could she be saying this for shock value?

    Answer by Jessy0419 at 6:07 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • Wow has she missed her period? I would take her to the Dr she could have an std you want to make sure she is healthy. I know if it was my 12 year old we would have a serious talk about adoption. I have enough kids to take care of and you really are teaching her to be responsible if you are the one who is gonna raise the baby they are not dolls and she needs to see that it is hard being a young mom with no way to care for baby. I know a family that takes pregnant teens into their home

    Answer by abellvalerie at 6:11 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • (cont) They have to go to school and they help them decied if it is best to keep or place for adoption it is very good program. Maybe there is something like this where you are

    Answer by abellvalerie at 6:13 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • I would be upset at the fact that the girls snuck out. But with the sex thing I don't know with what I would do or how to handle it. But I do know this have you talked to her about sex? And has she had sex education class? Because if she didn't or you didn't tell her about that then you should. Because that wouldn't be fair to her if she gets a disease for that. Maybe she's rebelling against something from one of you or maybe even both of you? I don't know. BUT she does need consequence for sneaking out of the house. I would tell her no going anywhere for one week and one weekend. Then if she disputes it add a day. Then if she sneaks out again add another day. and so on until she gets the hint she's not allowed to do that. But I would find a counselor and get them involved. Because somethings going on for her to do that.

    Answer by snickers1201 at 7:16 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • I'm sorry but this is to crazy,a 12 years little girl whith a baby,that's sooooo wrong.seriously that's what u want for u daugther,let me tell u i'm from Bklyn and hav 4 kids well,teens and i'm the f.. adult  an take the damn decisions ,I RUN the HOUSE!!!


    Answer by cana337 at 8:45 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • You need to tell her dad. Then, you need to take her to the Dr and get her an STD and pregnancy check. She needs birth control and then HEAVILY monitored. She goes NO where without you since she seriously violated your trust. I have a 12.5 year old. I know how they can be. You have to show them you seriously care about their health and wellbeing and that you will NOT tolerate her lies and breaking of your rules. I would find out all the boys she had been with and talk to the parents. I would talk to the school. She needs to talk to a counselor about why she is choosing to allow her body to be violated in this way.

    Answer by cdgoldilocks at 8:45 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • take her to the Dr. You need to put temporary boundaries on her for punishment. And as far as "whether or not you should let her keep it" (if she is pregnant), I think that is a decision for her. I would not pubically embarrass her at her school, or call other parents, until you get a true positive pregnancy test.

    Kids are having sex at younger ages. 12 is probably not that young anymore. Punish her for disobeying your rules, but not for having sex (unless it is with MEN).

    Answer by charisma10 at 8:54 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • I was 11 when I lost my V and I was looking for love in all the wrong places. Thank God I never got sick or preggers before I was 17. I would lie to my parents and they never checked up on me. I wouldn't let her out of my sight!!!! If she is pregnant, I would give the baby up for adoption to a family that can't have children. IMO Yes she needs to learn a lesson, but in my experience, a lot of girls that keep their babies quit school and never graduate. I was the first girl to graduate from my high school in 1998. All I wanted was for my parents to chase me and lay out some rules. I'm not saying it's their fault. I made that decision, not them.

    Answer by Maddape48854 at 8:56 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.