My mom goes at least once a month to our family cemetary just to check on things, and put fresh flowers on the graves of our family that has passed on. I don't go. For me, visiting the cemetary is really hard, so I just don't go. Is this horrible on my part?
It has been 25 years since my died unexpectedly and for the first at least 10 years, I went regularly and sat there to speak the words I never got a chance to say, I also put fresh flowers and cleaned his plaque, it gave me comfort, it gave me peace. Now after 25 years I still go but on special occasions<, his birthday and holidays were I miss him most./p>
It is not horrible in your part not to go, I do it because like I said it brings me peace and comfort, but I probably wouldn't if it had the opposite effect. It is ok hun, just keep those loved ones that are gone alive in your heart and memory.
Answer by older at 8:10 AM on Oct. 29, 2010
Answer by elizabr at 8:15 AM on Oct. 29, 2010
Answer by arenad at 8:30 AM on Oct. 29, 2010
Answer by NannyB. at 8:34 AM on Oct. 29, 2010
Answer by August07Mom at 8:35 AM on Oct. 29, 2010
Answer by LadyCash at 8:41 AM on Oct. 29, 2010
Answer by SophiaofLight at 8:43 AM on Oct. 29, 2010
Answer by tinamatt at 8:49 AM on Oct. 29, 2010
Answer by kileighsmommie at 9:12 AM on Oct. 29, 2010
I'm not big on visiting cemeteries simply because the people I miss aren't "there" anyway. I don't find it hard or horrible. I do go very occassionally. My husband is very big on it. He goes once a month like clock work. He has another family member who considers it her personal mission to garden on the plots. Rather obsessive about it if you ask me, but she feels it is her duty.
Whatever you need to do for your own peace of mind is fine. It is no reflection on you or how much you loved the departed.
Answer by LoveMyDog at 9:17 AM on Oct. 29, 2010