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How do I get my son to have more confidence?

He's a super smart boy (age 11), very kind, has many friends but at times he walks around with his head down and doesn't look people in the face when talking. He had a band concert last night, it went great but my son seemed distracted, had to be told to stand up after the concert to bow and was acting so weird. His friends run up to him to say hi, and he looks down as if he's embarrased!
We asked him what's up with him and he says nothing, cries and moops around. He's very emotional. Help!

 
mamaada

Asked by mamaada at 10:44 AM on Oct. 29, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 21 (11,083 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Praise, lots and lots of praise!
    older

    Answer by older at 10:47 AM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • Give him a lot of praise, definitely. I would write out short messages and slip them into his books, his backpack. Just make sure that the notes won't embarrass him. Talk to other moms of tweens or his friends and see what would work.
    _Tam_

    Answer by _Tam_ at 10:52 AM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • I wish I knew what to tell ya! My 4.5 ds is the same way.. SUPER emotional!!! I hope we both find some answers!! BUMP
    newmom28

    Answer by newmom28 at 11:19 AM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • My DS teachers and I worked on eye contact since Kindgarten. The main thing to help was cub/boy scouts. Just try a few meetings you be suprised at the change if you have a good troop. My son's self confidence and desire to work hard has increased alot. They say 1 out of 4 boys will stay in scouts and 3 out of 4 leaders were scouts. Most value their eagle award over a college degree.
    partiesbyjan

    Answer by partiesbyjan at 3:07 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • WE ARE AN EXAMPLE FOR THEM THEY WATCH THE WAY WE WALK AND PRESENT OURSELVES,GIVE THEM PRAISE IN EVRYTHING THEY DO.I PRAY WITH MY KIDS MORNING AND NIGHT AND THATS A REALLY BIG HELP FOR ME THAY LOOK FORWARD TO DOING THAT DAILY IT MAKES MY PARENTING A LOT BETTER.PRAY BELEIVE AND TRUST IN GOD
    LACEY122

    Answer by LACEY122 at 3:15 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • You can not GIVE someone confidence.................. They have to earn confidence by doing and succeeding.


    You can help set him up for success.  You can give him pointers to be successful.  But HE has to do those things for himself.  HE has to prove to himself that he CAN succeed..  and in turn WILL have confidence.

    sahlady

    Answer by sahlady at 4:00 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • oh... and do NOT praise everything he does... that isnt how a child learns to be successful. That just makes them think they can do nothing wrong. 


    Point out the good things (yes you can compliment/praise those things) but say I saw when you did XYZ and how did that make YOU feel? I thought it was a pretty smart thing for you to do XYZ because it lead to this or that. HELP them see when they make a good choices, allowe thier feelings to come out.


    IF they make a poor choice point it out. Hey I saw you did ZYX and it lead to a bad grade.... darn... what do you think would have been a better choice? How do you think you should correct the mistake of choosing ZYX?


    Of course a child needs to know that you love them care about them and are there for them... but praising every thing they do is unnecessary.

    sahlady

    Answer by sahlady at 4:05 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • have sat down and talk about it he sounds if he depressed ,i would just listen to what he has to say ,something is just not right
    dutchcanadain

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 12:17 AM on Nov. 3, 2010