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In love with a man, again- Help!

I work in the same company with a man that I was in a relationship. (Quitting the job is not an option!) I see him almost every day. I had terminated a pregnancy from his request because of complications in his life about two years ago. Plus, I'm not fiancially sound enough to raise a baby as a single mother, not then and not now. The problem, I'm still very in love with this man, even to the point of wishing I had his baby. This thought process is breaking my concentration toward my work. This is not healthy for me.

How do I kick the baby-lust thoughts and love thoughts about the guy?

Help me please

Answer Question
 
BlueSaphire

Asked by BlueSaphire at 10:59 AM on Oct. 29, 2010 in Relationships

Level 21 (11,698 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • how does he feel about you? is this a one sided attraction?
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 11:02 AM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • he may have feelings toward me, I don't know. But because of the complications of the past, this is not the direction I should take. I need to assume that the feelings are only one-sided. Thanks
    BlueSaphire

    Comment by BlueSaphire (original poster) at 11:09 AM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • Avoid him at all costs! Maybe try to get out and meet someone new. I know that's what finally helped me get over an ex. I understand quitting your job is not an option but do you work directly with him? Try switching your mindset to he's off limits or he's an asshole or to something that will turn you off to him. You are in a tough spot but you realize that and are trying to make it better for yourself, sometimes that's the hardest part.
    michelle121003

    Answer by michelle121003 at 11:38 AM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • Either you transfer or you deal to ignore him. The guy who had a love/hate thing for me choose to wait for me to get married and leave the company before he came to my department tobe a supervisor. I turned down a secretarial management job and moved to another state. I hated my decision but it was for the best to be away from this older guy. In the end it worked out because the 9/11 tragedy happened and everyone got a package deal from the company or moved to another site in the country. GL and I feel for you but he is just using you. Maybe he will get fired.LOL.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:40 AM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • first of all... why would you find yourself in love with a man who did not support you when HE got you pregnant???(i'm not knocking your choice you made, but what if you got pregnant with someone else who loved you and wanted to be with you, do you think you may have decided to make a dirrerent choice?) second why do you find yourself in love with a man who does not love you back? Why give someone such power who has no respect for you as a women who has feeling and emotions? this guy sounds like an ass who is only out for himself.. selfish needs not caring about anyone else... i'm thinking you really need to eveluate your deep down feelings and figure out is ths love, lust or maybe just wanting someone you can have, the challange behind that.. worst case seek some counseling to help you get through this..
    BobbieJo286

    Answer by BobbieJo286 at 12:22 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

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