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Is it wrong of me....?

Is it wrong of me trying to think of things to do outside of the apartment on Saturday when I know that my MIL is thinking about coming out? I love the woman but she is completely different when she gets around her grandkids. She'll take the child right from your arms with the comment that 'you get to hold him/her all the time.' I've tried talking to her but it goes in one ear and out the other. I was not raised that way. I was raised that you ask to hold the babe or wait for an invite plus what the mom says is the law no matter who you are. I have told her that I don't give a lot of candy to my 15 month old because I want the kid to ask for fruit and veggies but MIL does NOT listen. She'll give candy and say 'I'll give you this little bit because your mom doesn't want you to have any.' I could beat the woman. I'm so ready for my sister-in-law to have kids to get MIL off of my back and focus on someone else.

 
OliviaW.

Asked by OliviaW. at 11:24 AM on Oct. 29, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 10 (444 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • The spoiling doesn't bother me (god know my parents do it too) it's the comment "because your mommy doesn't want you to have it" and that thinking that I have a problem with. MOM=LAW (dad's too)... Yes, grandparents get to spoil but they DO NOT get to undermine what the parents say. Our parents respect the things that are important to us and we compromise on the things that are important to them. For example, when Grandma is babysitting she gets to feed them whatever she wants (they are very aware of the allergies and ages and always check if there is something specific). You wanna take them for Mcd's for lunch cause you're watching them all day saturday and you think it would be fun ... GREAT! But we also know that if we said "hey we're limiting X and here's why" they would also limit it (probably not as much but would still limit it). I have real issues with grandparents who think that they can do whatever and undermine mom.
    terpmama

    Answer by terpmama at 11:53 AM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • Wrong of you? Are you kidding? My MIL is coming out for an entire week in December and I already have my bags packed to run to my parents house.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 11:25 AM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • Nope, you are not wrong. Everyone no matter who they are needs to respect YOU as the mother of your children and know that no one overrides your decision. Maybe MIL needs something more dramatic than just a talking to...
    Jwick

    Answer by Jwick at 11:28 AM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • What get over it. She is there and she loves your baby. You can accept that or push her away. I mean how many people love your baby as much as you do? Grandparents are not around for ever. Use what you have.
    mmmegan38

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 11:29 AM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • Sorry but that's kind of how grandmas are. Just take some deep breaths, bite your tongue and consider it a lesson in patience!
    BluDog

    Answer by BluDog at 11:30 AM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • Lol...im the same way! But its not with my MIL its with my mom! The pluss to it is you get a break look at it that way...thats what I do. Grandmas are suposed to spoil th child and give them the things that mommy says no to. Its just what they do. Hang in there its only a day...and hide the candy so she cant give it to the kids lol.
    Shelii

    Answer by Shelii at 11:33 AM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • Sweetie, why should a grandmother ask permission to hold her grandkid? a lot of grandparents, ( I am not one yet) but they tell me they feel their grandkids is an extension of their son or daughter and a lot of them go back to feeling when their little ones were little, reliving it all over again. I think you are a bit nitpicking, those things are not all that important, if a grandmother can't spoil her grandchild with some candy once in a while, isn't this what most of them do? Instead of looking at her as meddling maybe you should re look, did you ever have a grandmother, did she spoil you? they are definitely notorious for doing just that. What mom says should be the law, but make those laws flexible once in a while and indulge the woman.
    older

    Answer by older at 11:33 AM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • If getting out of the house keeps you from losing your cool, do it; it's not worth having fits over the little things. Grandparents like to give kids things their parents won't; I wouldn't worry about her spoiling your little ones for real food; just remind them that you're not grandma. Kids can easily learn that the time when grandma's there is an exception to their usual way of life.
    SWasson

    Answer by SWasson at 11:34 AM on Oct. 29, 2010

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