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If giving money as a wedding gift...

how much do you give? I posted early about hubby's cousin getting married. They are having the ceremony at a church with the reception after in the fellowship hall. I imagine they could use money because they called to ask if we could not bring the kids since they were cutting back as much as possible. We're on a really tight budget too, so we don't have a lot to give. What is acceptible?


Asked by scout_mom at 12:44 PM on Oct. 29, 2010 in Money & Work

Level 41 (125,190 Credits)
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Answers (20)
  • Since she mentioned not to bring your kids because of budget cost then you can do can follow their lead. As goodwill jester give them congratulatory card with $25. Times are hard and they should understand since they also are doing budget cut backs.

    Answer by musicmom08 at 11:09 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • I'm sorry, but a gift is just that---a gift.

    seriously, paying for my plate? It wasn't my choice to have a sit down dinner, that should all fall on the person financing the wedding IMHO.

    If you can afford a 10 dollar bill, fine, if you can afford 100, great. But paying for my plate?

    I suppose if I'm not drinking I should be paying for the open bar too?

    Answer by romanceparty4u at 1:01 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • Oh I'm so glad to hear that somebody is still doing cake and punch weddings. As far as how much cash to give, think about what you would buy if you were buying a gift, like a toaster or a mixer or a place setting of china and how much you would spend. Yay I know at a cake and punch wedding the likelihood of anybody registering for china is pretty small. I figure if you do better than towels you are doing better than about 1/3 of my family. But cake and punch people are practical people and some day somebody will do a study that says those weddings are more likely to be "til death do us part."

    Answer by LoveMyDog at 1:20 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • At least $50

    Answer by Monica655 at 12:51 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • It really depends on what you can afford. If you can only afford $20, then give them $20. We got mostly cash for our wedding & $50 was the lowest amount we, i take that back. Someone gave us a $30 gift card. But, the majority of the cash we got was between $75 & $200 (of course close family were very generous, they did give more). I always say, give what you can afford. It made no difference to us how much money someone gave us. I was just happy they all had a good time at my wedding.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 12:55 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • I'll give $50 for friends or extended family. Close family will get $100 from us. If you cannot afford that, give what you can afford. When opening my wedding cards I didn't care who gave what. It wasn't about that.

    Answer by KairisMama at 12:29 AM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • A lot depends on where you live. My husband is from New York City. I grew up in the south. My husband's family gave generous checks. My friends gave gifts. My husband was shocked at the gifts. Lots of picture frames. He said where he was from they would be considered cheap at a shower, much less a wedding, but he understood that the custom is different here. It's considered crass to give money, like you didn't even care enough about the person to even shop for a gift. My friends were shocked at the amount of money we spent on our wedding. Spend what you can afford.

    Answer by SweetLuci at 11:30 AM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • I give $20

    Answer by dancinintherain at 12:46 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • You are suppose to at least pay for your plate. That was the rule of thumb and give a little extra for them.

    If the plate is 25.00 per person, it would be 50.00

    If you have extra you would put a 100.00 totaling-$100.00 50.+50.

    Its really what you have, family should be there money or not but you don't want to look horrible either so at least cover your food.... If they don't like it owell. They are not going to give money for your bills, and neither will anyone else. Don't put your self out....

    Good luck!!!!

    Answer by KFree907 at 12:49 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • There is no plate, no dinner. There will be a cake and punch.

    Comment by scout_mom (original poster) at 12:51 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

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