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When I got Pregnant with our first Son I had all plans on going "All Natural"

Well I pushed for 6 1/2 hours when the Dr. said sorry we have to do a C-Section I refused and mind you I had no pain meds at this point he continued to tell me I needed one then Finally I had no choice. Well then as you know you have more than one type of medicine and your child is surgically removed from you. Now the question is " Have you been told you wont have the same bond a mom has when she / they delivered natural"? well I had a girl tell me I am sorry you dont have the special bond with your kids cause they were not born natural. Or "you dont know what it is like to be in that much pain of labor? Please let me know if I am the only one.(I know I am not)

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Asked by AbbeyKAy at 7:41 PM on Oct. 30, 2008 in Pregnancy

Level 11 (545 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • i went through 63hrs of labor with no meds and then they told me it was time for a c-sec and yes i have been told that by my sister no less. I have a very special bond with my children maybe because their whole life i have been the only one here besides my SO

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:43 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • I think thats absolutely absurd and rediculous! Did you tell her to kiss your ass? I would have! I have never had a c-section, I did deliever my son vaginally but I don't understand why you wouldn't have the same bonding experience either way. A bond is between mother and chold not mother child and vagina

    Answer by Married2theBest at 7:45 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • that's rediculous!! You wanted a natural birth, and unfortunately didn't get it. Yes, things like breastfeeding could be more difficult, and you healing could be more difficult, but that does NOT mean you don't have a special bond with your son! I'm sorry people say that to you.

    Answer by mrseum at 7:53 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • That's just plain ignorant. There is no "magical bonding" period. It is nice to bond with a baby right after birth, it's great to give birth vaginally (I've done both) but there is no difference in my love for any of them. Duh is all I can say.

    Answer by PamJM at 8:15 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • Bonding with your baby happens after they are born... and babies dont know any different! People are ignorant. I have an extremely close bond with my baby girl, and I had a c-section. People say things like that to make themselves feel better about their insecurities!

    Answer by LovinMyMikayla at 8:31 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • You know happend to me as well
    and i did, indeed feel the presssssure to push ....i was dilated 5cm 6cm and i stopped,
    so they did have to give me a c/s

    and INDEED,
    a woman told me this,
    " well dont you wish you could have gone the "normal" way
    I said this,

    I did go the " normal way" A woman having a child is NORMAL,
    i said the only thing differant, is,
    After i was done,
    I had 17 staples in my bellie and couldnt poo for 3 days thinking i was going to crap out my stomach,.
    I also avoided the medication that they wanted me to have for pain after the c-s
    to SPEND time with my child and i went home in 2 days instead of the NORMAL 3 days,

    she just looked at me as if i just took her last roll of tolit paper,

    Answer by LexsiesMommy at 8:55 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • ignorance....that's all it is, it took me over a month to bond with my second and i had her caginally, where as with my first it was immediate.

    Answer by chyna_doll at 8:57 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • wow, I can't believe someone was so tactless as to say that to you! am I less of a mom because I am physically unable to have my babies naturally? would I be more bonded with them if I refused a c section and died in child birth? somehow, I don't think my kids are going to be upset that I chose to LIVE and allow them to LIVE as well. how horrible, screw those people!!!!!

    Answer by AprilMosco at 9:16 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • Yup heard that too. Twins 5 weeks early cuz lil miss stopped growing. i was in recovery for 8 hrs before i saw them. Basically we knew for 4 months that it would be a csection (both breech) and i actually refused to believe that it would be a csection until they were rolling me in for the operation. I kept hoping that they would turn (silly me!)

    Answer by r2mommy at 11:22 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • WOW...I haven't heard that one before. I think that is crazy. I don't think how the baby is born matters one bit!! I have never had a c-section, but I still think that is completely nuts! My sister had a c-section wtih her first and the other 2 were vaginally...she has the same bond with all three of them!

    Answer by robinann5 at 12:40 AM on Oct. 31, 2008

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