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How can I get my DH to help out when he's home?

My DH works 4 10hr days. So he's home ALOT! I do almost everything around the house and with/for our kids (1&3). I do the laundry, pickup, vacuum, clean the bathrooms, prepare and cook all our meals, do the grocery shopping, put the kids to bed, wake up with them (5 mornings a week sometimes more), I dress them I change them (Potty trained my 3 year old by myself), and whatever else needs to be done. When DH is home he gets mad when I ask him to help clean up or get the kids dressed for the day or give them a bath. He usually takes the trash out and I have been leaving the dishes for him bc I'm sick and tired of doing them. So now he's mad at me because the dishes are piling up and he thinks I should do them...I want him to help out! I'm sick of the house being super clean when he works and then getting destroyed when he's home and him doing nothing about it. What can I do? suggestions? He's a great guy just not at cleaning


Asked by OBImomma at 4:53 PM on Oct. 29, 2010 in Relationships

Level 17 (3,908 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • This is what worked for me.

    Actually showing my husband how him helping me out more, benefitted him in the long run.. The more he helped me, the less stressed I was, The happier I was, the more time I had for him, the more energy I had for him, the more I wanted to spend time with him..etc.

    Once he actually saw how him helping me out, actually gave me more time for him (more "us" time) and how it made me a happier wife.............. he has never slacked on helping out again. lol

    Answer by pixie_trix at 5:04 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • leaving him with kids will get him to wake up see how well he fairs with kids and housework and you get a day of rest

    Answer by countrygirl9905 at 5:20 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • Well, me was never to that extreme... but it sounds like he doesnt realize how hard your job really is. On one of your days off take of without the kids for a whole day... Bet he calls within a few hours saying he needs help. Good Luck.

    Answer by kiansmom0423 at 4:58 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • I totally agree with pixie.I always say..." a happy Brenda makes a happy home " : P

    Answer by bvannkissy at 5:44 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • has he always been like this? IMO heprobably doesn't help cause he knows you will do it.

    Answer by gulfcoastmom4 at 6:52 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • Maybe he does feel that he helps out. Obviously I am not there to see what he actually does but I know with my man his idea of "cleaning the bathroom" and mine are nothing alike. Or I could spend the whole day cleaning the house till its finished and it takes him half an hr (he teaches the kids to shove things in closets or drawers!!!). I would talk to him about what he thinks his responsiblities are and what he thinks yours are. Find things he would agree to doing and try redistributing the work. If you never say anything though you can't get upset with him for it.

    Answer by seturkey at 7:11 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • you should be honest with him tell him if you want me to have move energy for you to spend time with you for your needs then you need to help me out more so i wont be stressed out & always tired all the time

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 8:17 PM on Oct. 29, 2010