Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

4 Bumps

truly offended..a wimpy parent if you dont use Cry it out. Really?

So the other day i asked a question about how to get my co sleeping child to sleep in his own bed with out having to use cry it out. Someone who posted anon of course was very rude. They basicly told me i was a wimpy parent because i dont agree with letting your child scream and cry themelfs to sleep and that if you didnt do that you werent raising a well adjusted child. OK so please explain to me how letting a 18month old or even older or younger scream and cry themselfs to sleep makes them well adjusted?

Answer Question
 
Jaxsmommy09

Asked by Jaxsmommy09 at 5:19 PM on Oct. 29, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 16 (2,370 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Some people are so mean! I'm with you-NO CIO!!
    The stress hormones released by kids when they CIO can have harmful effects in the long term. Their heart rates and blood pressures are higher, and their cortisol levels go up, signaling the body to hold onto fat. Plus, it does the same to Mommy and/or Daddy who doesn't want to use CIO but feels like there is no other way.
    I've posted questions about sleep, too, and I've specifically said, NO CIO, yet half of the responses say to CIO. It's frustrating. I feel like a bad parent when I ignore my crying child. I don't know how anyone can feels good about it.
    musicpisces

    Answer by musicpisces at 5:24 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • At 18 months, I don't think it's all that bad to let them CIO for a little bit, as long as they aren't going into hysterics or making themselves sick.
    thatgirl70

    Answer by thatgirl70 at 5:25 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • I agree with what thatgirl said. At some point a child has to learn that they are not always going to get their way by crying. So I personally feel that it is ok to let them cry at that age for a little while so long as they arent making themselves sick. But every person is different, and if that is not your cup of tea, then it isnt. It doesnt give other people a right to bash your parenting skills because you dont agree with their methods.
    mandapanda942

    Answer by mandapanda942 at 5:29 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • Letting a child cry themselves to sleep because you have allowed co sleeping and changed your mind is just mean. I went through this when my oldest was 3-4. He slept with me because I was a single mom. When I got remarried, I would lay down with him in his bed ubtill he went to sleep. After a couple of weeks, I would leave the bed before he was asleep. after a couple of more weeks, he was willing to go to sleep in his own bed, and I did not have to even lie down with him, after a bedtime story he was ready to fall asleep on his own. I hope this helps.
    A.Perry

    Answer by A.Perry at 5:29 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • I would think it's easier to neglect your child than it is to properly put them to sleep... So wouldn't that make HER the "wimpy" parent? Or at least the lazy one? I have never understood how neglecting your child's needs equals decent parenting...
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 6:48 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • i already get a lot of crap especially from family members that I need to let my 2 MONTH OLD cry it out which I think is absolutley insane. I also get crap because I hold him often, or go to him after a few minutes of him fussing. I held my 4 year old a lot, rocked him to sleep, ran to him for every little whimper, and never let him cry it out and he is a loving, trustworthy, wonderful little boy. I think giving in to his needs let him know he can trust mommy to be there for him. If I ever let my 4 year old CIO it was when he was about 7 months old and it was 1 night. we never co slept with him but at one point he would wake up and as soon as I walked to the crib stop crying, I walk away he'd cry...you get the picture...i said to him sorry bub but mommy's not playing that game. he cried for 10minutes I think and never did it again.
    travisnowensmom

    Answer by travisnowensmom at 8:12 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • I wonder how these people would feel if the next time they were upset about something, or scared, or hurt, or whatever, no one came to comfort them. "Figure it out on your own". Might make them see differently.
    LadyCash

    Answer by LadyCash at 9:56 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • Most of the time when people use anon with a rude answer is when they are talking out there ass and no it. Try not to let it bother you that is what they want.Even though it can be hart sometimes.
    My DD 21 months, when she is crying I don't pic her up, I will read to her calm her down.If she is still fussy, I give here kiss all over the face, rub her back tuck her in.She might cry a little after that but not long at all.I don't let her scream her self to sleep.They fall asleep faster when the are calmer.
    bucky77

    Answer by bucky77 at 10:45 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • I never have been able to listen to them cry , Even typing this and thinking of that horrid scream i want to cry... They are afraid and need you, I could never do that.
    kileighsmommie

    Answer by kileighsmommie at 3:12 PM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • I would think it's easier to neglect your child than it is to properly put them to sleep... So wouldn't that make HER the "wimpy" parent? Or at least the lazy one? I have never understood how neglecting your child's needs equals decent parenting...

    I completely agree with this. Maybe you have more patience with your child or are better able to handle your child. It doesn't take any effort to dump them into a crib and walk away.
    JulieJacobKyle

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 5:45 PM on Oct. 30, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.