Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

My BF and I need to have the what if something happens to us talk. What is the best way to bring up that topic?

I also do not want his parents raising my child of something happens to us. Surely there is a delicate way of saying that. I am sure its not say that your dad is a drunk and your mom is too innocent. I want my child to have a realistic view of the world. What it boils down to is I would want my father to raise him. My dad did a good job with me and I feel my father would raise him the way I would want. umm help?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:45 PM on Oct. 29, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (5)
  • Well, I am hoping that you and your SO have an open, honest, trusting relationship with good communication. If you do, then broach the subject gently in the context of wanting to prepare for emergencies. Explain to him that although you care for his parents (If you do) you feel that it may not be in the best interest of the child to be raised by them because of his Dads drinking problem (I am sure he is well aware and not in denial of his fathers problem???) Suggest possible alternatives, your parents being one of them and see what he says. Let him suggest possible alternatives also and then discuss the pros and cons of all the people mentioned.

    Answer by STEVESBELLA4EVR at 5:51 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • Don't beat around the bush. Just open up and say that you guys have to have the talk. You've got to do it if you have a little one. I also recommend when you do make the decision to be sure and have a living trust or Will done and in it have your guardianship addressed. You really never know what could happen and you would want to be sure your little one is covered/taken care of. Don't be afraid to express how you feel about his parents raising your child. I had to turn my mother-in-law down for even babysitting due to her life choices/style. Unfortunately she is no longer with us (lung cancer). Even though my husband and I are very close and good communicators it was still hard to tell him my concerns with his mother (he felt the same anyway). The thing that made me feel better in the long run is that there is no one more important in the world than your baby. Your baby comes first.

    Answer by hollysybb at 6:11 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • you just need to be yourself honey...just be positive and be honest...pray 1st...

    Answer by neng999 at 6:24 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • I would say that just let him know that you all need to talk. I would write some things down to know exactly what I want and to be able to relay that clearly to him. If he is able to do the same that will make the conversation a lot shorter and hopefully the two of you can understand and compromise on what each other wants in case anything happens and go from there.

    Answer by Luisa621 at 8:19 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • I say be open and honest about it....tell him you'd like/prefer your dad over his parents because of his dad's drinking (and as PP stated, he's probably well aware of it, so it shouldn't be a surprise). You never know....he might say he's right there with you on this matter. GL!

    Answer by HaydensMama07 at 9:33 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.