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3 Bumps

Trouble with school and dealing with hurt feelings ...My 6ys old......

Tristan is an AMAZING child. Stubborn as hell, but has the biggest heart in the world. So much love from such a small person :) He is great at home for the most part, just like any child he can have moments where he talks back & stomps his feet. But I'm concerned about school. Tristan lives with his father & has for 3+yrs. & is in 1st grade, his school teaches Spanish in AM & regular class in PM. He does well. But this week, 5 days straight he been in trouble. Tuesday got sent to Principlaes office. Little girl told him she didn't like him, & would never marry him (not funny but a little & I feel bad) well he got angry & yelled at her in the cafeteria. Runs around class as if he gets bored, teacher moved his desk away from other students so hes not disruptive. This happens at least 1-2 a week him being rude. I suggested maybe one on one time with teacher? after school? I dunno any suggestions? I know it typical school issues..

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mommyoftristan

Asked by mommyoftristan at 5:47 PM on Oct. 29, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 16 (2,903 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • Hugs. I am going to brainstorm and pray about this and get back to you. He sounds like a GEM.
    txdaniella

    Answer by txdaniella at 5:55 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • His teacher needs to try something different. Your son sounds like my daughter, my daughter doesn't get in trouble, but that's because of the way things are handled. First, kids at that age don't really know they are being rude (most of the time), everything is more knee jerk.
    Moving his desk makes him feel excluded that is making the problem worse not better - tell his teacher to PUT IT BACK.
    My daughter was running around the classroom when she was bored - she's very advanced so they got the special ed instructor involved and she felt Riley needed a "take 5" a few seconds just to regroup and get back to what she was doing. They made a rule that if Riley need to take a break she would walk to the middle of the room and sit down and take 5, by the middle of the year she no longer had to take 5 - which was actually only about 30 seconds.
    Works4Mom.com

    Answer by Works4Mom.com at 5:58 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • get him in some after school activities to help him work with other kids and deal with his feelings. .maybe a sport, because he will have to deal with the emotions, whether its frustration, angry, sadness.. of losing sometimes and he will see that he can't act up on the field because he won't be allowed to play and he will learn from his actions. Also set some rules like every two times he gets in trouble he doesnt get to watch tv for a day or something. give him a consequence that he will truely not like and he will work hard not to have taken away again. Also maybe sit in on one of his classes and see if its just him being disruptive or if hes being provoked.. and c if the teacher os handling it in a way that will help him rather than just punish him. GOOD LUCK
    Lecie415

    Answer by Lecie415 at 6:08 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • My daughters school have groups on "How to be a good friend" I know that sounds funny, but my daughter was home with me until she went to school she had only her cousins to play with. Every kid is different and every child has different strengths. At school my daughter is in a small group to play games and talk about what they can do "if" with their friends. Other kids have difficulty with math or reading so they are in those groups. Other kids have issues with behavior so they are in those groups, but it sounds like your sons may have a few small problems, but not behavior problems, but that is what his teacher is making them into.
    Punishing him is only going to make it worse, because he's really not doing anything wrong. He's acting out because he can't express how he feels - he's 6!
    Email me, We'll talk. Your son sounds so much like my daughter I could go on all day!!! As you can see.
    Works4Mom.com

    Answer by Works4Mom.com at 6:21 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • Works4Mom.com... I do understand where you're coming from. However, that being said, my son... who works hard and applies himself... had to sit next to a girl last year in his second grade class that was an enormous distraction for him. She would poke him, throw things at him, make fun of him... to the point where he was unable to complete his classwork and had to finish it at home on his own time. Finally, half way through the first semester, the girl was moved away from the other students so that she would have as many distractions around her and she wouldn't be able to distract as many students. I'm sorry, I do understand that every child has issues, and all issues should be addressed, and I think it's commendable that Tristan's mom is concerned enough to be doing research to try to help her son succeed, but there's no reason that a child who is struggling should be allowed to cause other students to struggle as well.
    prinzesstephi

    Answer by prinzesstephi at 6:25 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • Hi Tristans mommy. I just want to tell you, you are not alone. I have a 5yr old that brings home a bad report everyday. Wandering around the class, spitting, hitting, calling other kids names, pouring paint on other kids head, you name it. The school and my husband n I have implimented different techniques to try n help my son but nothing is working. I truely believe something is wrong with my son because he is like this everywhere except for home so im looking into a pediatric neurologist. I hope you can find ways to deal with Tristan. Good Luck
    SynSyers Mommy
    cantmoveon

    Answer by cantmoveon at 6:34 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • @prinzesstephi, that little girl sounds like a horrible child, but Tristan doesn’t.
    Of course I’m just getting a snap shot, but that snap shot sounds a lot like my child. My daughter doesn’t distract students, but in her classroom the children are at tables and they all work together.
    My daughter is extremely bright and was so bored she couldn’t concentrate on putting letters together to form words when she can already read Harry Potter (not that we let her.)
    I don’t know what was wrong with the horrible child that sat beside your son, but I’m pretty sure if the issues in Tristan’s case aren’t dealt with and he is just punished there are going to be real problems ahead.
    Works4Mom.com

    Answer by Works4Mom.com at 7:04 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • I know first hand how difficult it can be when you feel like you don't have any answers for what is happening. My daughter got in trouble every day in 1st grade. She was disruptive, too sensitive and at one point, they suggested she be tested for ADD. I never really found out what was causing it that year, but the next year her teacher had her tested - she is brilliant. So....my thoughts were that she was bored, a little to literal for most children and had no way to communicate the complicated feeling she was having. Make an appointment with the teacher, get exact incidents and talk, talk, talk to your son. He may be trying to express what is going on and not quite have the words. Good Luck to you!
    MomIWant

    Answer by MomIWant at 7:14 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • Lots of good answers here. Another idea I have is maybe to get a folder or something, spiral notebook, sheet of paper,, whatever for the teacher (s) to sign every hour or so, or after every class change for when he would be older, and put something positive or just a sticker if things have gone well, and if there has been a problem, it gives her a way to tell you, and of course your son would aim to get good marks, so maybe its not all on her to try and fix things, but it empowers your son to kind of watch his actions and remember her rules.
    txdaniella

    Answer by txdaniella at 9:11 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • @Works4Mom.Com:
    "Runs around class as if he gets bored, teacher moved his desk away from other students so hes not disruptive."
    This does, in fact, sound like he is being disruptive of other children in his classroom. I'm NOT saying that Tristan is a bad child, but there may be underlying issues. He could be too bright and getting bored in his class, in which case perhaps a tutor or aid in his class may help him, or, as in my son's case, see if they offer advanced classes with the upper grades. Or, if it's a behavioral issue, perhaps counseling or an IEP. However, that being said... as much as my heart goes out to the original poster, there are other children that need to be considered.
    prinzesstephi

    Answer by prinzesstephi at 10:27 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

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