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8 Bumps

Religion, Marriage & Conversion?

I've read many responses on here stating that if a man didn't share the same religious beliefs, many women wouldn't date him...

SO my question is, what if you're the same religion or beliefs when you are dating but then converts after marriage, does that end the relationship? Is conversion grounds for divorce? Or would is simply be something you have to learn to live with? And if you can learn to live with it once you're married, why wouldn't you date someone who has different beliefs?

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SabrinaMBowen

Asked by SabrinaMBowen at 6:46 PM on Oct. 29, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 40 (122,988 Credits)
Answers (32)
  • My ex-husband is Church of Christ. I was raised Southern Baptist. Doesn't sound like that much of a difference, but it was, and sadly, religion was in fact one of the factors in our breaking up. I went with him for the time we were married, but just never felt comfortable in the C of C. Not cause they weren't good people or anything, just not how I was raised. My husband now and I have been to several different churches (he was raised Independent Baptist), and we finally settled on Assembly of God. We feel this is where God has led us to,and we are very happy, very active, and love to go, and be with our brothers and sisters in Christ. Not sure how it is for anyone else,but that's my story.
    jaycietaylorgma

    Answer by jaycietaylorgma at 6:52 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • well im with someone who doesnt give a fck about organized religion, just like me so that works out fine.
    im alot more spiritual then he is, and i have became annoyed that i cant have discussions with him about spirituality because he just doesnt really think about that stuff, but ive met alot of people like that so i just dont worry about it that much.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 6:57 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • The general rule-of-thumb is to not become "unequally yoked." This means that your SO should share the same beliefs. The reason for this is because the difference in beliefs can be divisive and since when a man and woman become one flesh when they are married, divisiveness leads to destruction - "A house divided against itself cannot stand." (paraphrase) - and the marriage covenant was meant to be binding for a lifetime. If say a believing wife does marry a non-believer, Scripture says she must stay with him so long as he wants to be in the marriage, but if he wants to leave, she should let him and then she is free to find another husband. The rule is generally true if her believing husband falls away from faith and converts to a completely non-Christian religion. She should stay with him so long as he wants to, but if he desires to leave, she should let him and then she is free to remarry, but she cannot initiate the divorce.
    Gal51

    Answer by Gal51 at 7:01 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • I'm eclectic pagan, my husband is largely agnostic. When we got together I was loosly Christian and he was almost Atheist. I was so sure he would "come to God"... now I'm glad he didn't lol. we have grown and come to our spirituality in different ways and it's been a wonderful journey. We have taught each other much.

    I will say, though, that if he converted to a strict Christian sect it would not be good for our marriage. It very well could end it. Because I don't like to have dogma dictate how I live my life and strict Christians can't live without it.

    Glad that's not likely to happen lol.
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 7:02 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • Gal, that is ludacris, patriarchal and TOTALLY unfair to women. I know that's what scripture says and it is one reason I avoid that religion at all costs.
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 7:03 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • Ati_13

    I'm sorry you feel that way ... I don't see why it is patriarchal ... the woman has a chose in whom she marries. If she doesn't want to be unequally yoked, she doesn't have to be - she should pick a man who is of the same faith as she is. But if she chooses to be unequally yoked, then she must deal with the consequences. It's about taking responsibility for one's choices. In fact, this is one reason why marriages were arranged, because the wiser parents would be able to see past lust and puppy to the practicality of the match.
    Gal51

    Answer by Gal51 at 7:09 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • I agree with Purpulbutterfly. It shouldn't matter on what religion the other person is or not. I am believe in God and my ex-husband doesn't. My thing is if u truly love that person so much it shouldn't matter what religion or beliefs to follow by while dating that person or being married too. And it shouldn't creat tenation in marriage to fall apart and end up divorce if that person doesn't have the same belief and faith as u or someone may have. I married my ex-husband for the love and passion we had together not because he wasn't christian or believe totally differently than I did. I didn't care then and I don't care now if the other person that comes into my life believes or not.
    andmaef28

    Answer by andmaef28 at 7:09 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • *puppy LOVE
    Gal51

    Answer by Gal51 at 7:09 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • Gal, I see what you're saying, but men are NOT expected to take responsibility for their choices? They can leave if they are unhappy, but a woman has to stay and be miserable? I don't see how any woman could see that doctrine and think it was okay. It's making women essentially property. There is NO reason that a woman should not have the exact same rights in a marriage, including deciding to end it. Her happiness matters as much as the man's. Yeah, she can decide to marry a man of the same faith, but that doesn't mean she'll be happy, and that doesn't mean he won't treat her like crap, and that doesn't mean that he won't convert to a different religion. But the woman has NO recourse, she's stuck. I don't see how you can know this and NOT think it's totally effed up.
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 7:19 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • I don't see why it causes such great issues. Then again, I am not devout. If one really thinks their way is the only way I can see how being 'unequally yolked' can be a problem.
    purpleducky

    Answer by purpleducky at 7:28 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

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