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weird situation.....WWYD (what would you do?) kind of long???

I have been married 5 years to my wonderful hubby.....before him my old flame and I had been dating since 11 grade on and off for almost 10 years.....He was really more like a Best friend but I was so close to him and his Family....(there was about a 5 year gap before I got married and we split but we stayed friends)....I got a call that His dad died about 2 days ago. His dad was the closest thing i had to a father but Ireally don't know what to do...

..I told my hubby who is not a jealous person and he didn't say anything....but I felt like I couldn't grieve......or I would be unfair to my hubby who i love... I live in another state from the family ....

what would you do?? would you go to the funeral or just send a card even though you could be one of the children speaking at hte funeral b/c you were so close??

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:31 PM on Oct. 30, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I think you should go to the furneal if possible. You were very close to this man. Your going to pay your respects to him, it has nothing to do with your x. I would ask your dh to go with you, for moral support. And then maybe you'd feel better about grieveing, and your dh would accept it.
    robinann5

    Answer by robinann5 at 11:42 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • I would go to the funeral. I would tell DH that I would love to have him accompany me, but if he doesn't want to go, I would go by myself. DH doesn't seem to feel threatened (a good thing) but you have years of time invested in this relationship from the past. You have remained friends with the son of the deceased so as a friend I think that you should go to show your support.
    Babylove76

    Answer by Babylove76 at 10:36 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • I don't think I'd go to the funeral... keep it real, going out of state for your ex's father's funeral? No way would I let my hubby do that. I had a similar experience not very long ago and I didn't get the name of the funeral home in time to send flowers, but I did call the Mother and express my condolances, and I wrote her other son a letter (he's in prison) and expressed that I feel so very bad for what they're going thru and that the last time I talked to him, he was so very proud of his children (they're all grown) and that they were in my thoughts and prayers (I talked to the Mom and Dad all these years several times a year on the phone and stopped by to say hello when I was in their town, I live out of state now).
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 10:39 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • AGREE! I think you need to support your friend and specially if he was a dad to you. And they made a point to tell you that he had passed. Defintly include hubby, because those who have nothing to hide, hide nothing.

    GOOD LUCK-I hope you make there. It is a one time thing that you may regret for life.
    racingmomma

    Answer by racingmomma at 10:39 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • Of course you should go and tell your husband that you really do need him to go with you. You are going to pay your respects to a man that touched your life. Grieving for him and his family just means you have a kind heart.
    rcbrown

    Answer by rcbrown at 11:08 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • i totally agree with robinann5!!!
    Ronnies_Girl

    Answer by Ronnies_Girl at 12:39 AM on Oct. 31, 2008

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