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3 Bumps

How can I tell my very dramatic sister in law- to, shut up about certain topics

without ending the world as I know it?

She's complaining about her weight... and she's very thin. She wants to be five pounds underweight. That's her goal. to be medically, unhealthily, underweight. I have three little girls, and I want them to have a healthy relationship with their bodies and food.

If I ask her nicely, she'll have hysterics. Really. And if DH even attempts a conversation, the world ends. I don't know what to do, but I don't want her to talk about her unhealthy habits and body image issues in front of the girls.

Answer Question
 
lovinangels

Asked by lovinangels at 11:25 PM on Oct. 29, 2010 in Relationships

Level 39 (112,638 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Let her ramble on and explain to your girls that what auntie says isn't neccesarily correct, since you can't really control what comes out of her mouth. Set the right example. And explain to the girls what being healthy means to you!
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 11:28 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • Just ignore her and ask that she not discuss her body issues in front of your children.
    xxlilmomma09

    Answer by xxlilmomma09 at 11:28 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • Don't ask nicely , pull her aside and very seriously explain to her how you feel and that you dont want it to effect how your girls will think of them selves and how a child hearing things like that from someone they look up too can give them a complex about food and weight. if she blows you off tell her you dont want your girls to end up with a eating disorder later in life because they grew up hearing those coments!!
    MichelleBabyBoy

    Answer by MichelleBabyBoy at 11:33 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • It sounds like she could be anorexic. Someone really skinny and still complains about their weight, she definitely has some issues. Your kids don't need a bad impression about their body or their weight, so I definitely wouldn't talk about it in front of them. This is not a good topic to discuss with anyone, and sometimes talking too much about it can just push the person to do it more. Just back off and maybe she'll come to her senses. In the meantime, see if you can get some information from someone or a website online. I wish you the best of luck.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 11:42 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • Ugh, I hate drama queens! Can't say any thing without them acting an ass! I would ask your girls to go to another room, first, so her temper tantrum doesn't scare them. You don't have to tell her you think she has a problem, but just say that your girls are impressionable and weight is not an okay topic for HER to discuss with/in front of them. If she explodes, she explodes. Immature people do that some times. I'd also tell her that her behavior is not welcome around your kids, either and she needs to grow up. No one likes to be around people who make every one walk on egg shells. I would make sure to talk to your girls when she is not around and tell them that you and DH do not agree with her views, and that any questions they have about food or weight should be addressed to you and him. Good luck!
    Mrs.B3

    Answer by Mrs.B3 at 11:48 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • Learn to listen and nod for a minute, then change the subject. It sounds like she wants attention more than anything in the world at this point. Ask her opinion about something. She may ramble on, but at least she wont be talking about her weight. Anytime she veers back to that subject just say uh huh and change the subject again.
    duckigrrl

    Answer by duckigrrl at 12:08 AM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • I agree 100% with Michellebabyboy, and if she freaks out when you pull her aside so be it, but make it very clear that you will not tolerate that kind of talk around your daughter, if she continues after that leave EVERY time she brings it up. You are very right that is very unhealthy for small girls to listen not only will they grow up knowing that that kind of behavior is unhealthy but they will also grow up knowing that they have a mother who stands up for what she believes in no matter who that somebody she has to stand up to is.
    AshleyBishop06

    Answer by AshleyBishop06 at 12:25 AM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • Make it clear to your girls that her opinions on this subject are not correct when they are old enough to understand. Don't over do it in the other direction either. You are the biggest influence in their life so make sure you present a healthy attitude. GL!!
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 7:26 AM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • My sister in law has mellowed as she's gotten older but she was a class A drama queen with my 3 girls for years. I tried a variety of things but settled on just telling my daughters that Auntie was wrong about the way she was about certain things and the way she spoke to and treated them AND that they were to disregard her when she started up on these subjects if they couldn't get away from her. I also told her that if she couldn't help herself and must discuss certain things or continue to criticize, she had to leave our home. And she had to leave a couple of times, wasn't happy at all but I had made my boundary clear beforehand and she made her choice to disregard it. I can't STAND drama.
    etown2reds

    Answer by etown2reds at 5:57 PM on Oct. 30, 2010

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