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how do you date a guy your family doesn't approve of?

I'm 34 years old and I'm dating a great guy.My family does not approve of him because he's Puerto Rican.I'm white.My family thinks your not suppose to date outside your race.
They don't allow him to come to there home and so forth.They make rude,smarta** comments and remarks about my PR boyfriend.That really pee's me off.But they seem not to care.Any of you been through this or what?

 
alisha34886

Asked by alisha34886 at 11:28 PM on Oct. 29, 2010 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,310 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • my SO is black and i am white...when we were first together he rode with me on the 20min trip to pick up my son from his grandparents Omy mom and dad). when my mom saw me pull into the driveway with him in the passenger seat she flipped out and told me he couldnt be in the driveway so i had to park on the street. i stuck by him and over time she heard how much my older son loved him and eventually learned for herself what a great guy he is. now, they're still not happy about interracial relationships, but they have learned to love him.
    LoriaAnn

    Answer by LoriaAnn at 11:41 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • Ignore them and be with the man if you want to be with him. Good luck.
    xxlilmomma09

    Answer by xxlilmomma09 at 11:29 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • The guy Im with now my family loves.. But the guy I was with before him was venezualan (sp?).. And a few family members made comments but I didnt really care. If you like him then f*ck what they think, right? Just ignore them. GL! :)
    xxMasonsMommaxx

    Answer by xxMasonsMommaxx at 11:33 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • You know If they don't like a guy because they think he treats you badly, or they're worried about him not being able to take care of you, or taking advantage of you, it's time to consider what they're saying, but if it's about where he's from.....that's another story. Cultural differences can make a relationship more challenging, but, those things are for you and the guy to work out, not for your family to judge.

    I will say that my parents got married in 1960....my mom is Mexican, and my dad white. both families were very unhappy about it, but eventually, they both seemed to come around. My mom's brother went looking for my dad when they eloped, and ended up at the other end of my grandfather's shotgun....luckily, no one was hurt, and things worked out.

    Maybe with time, your family will mellow out as well.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 11:46 PM on Oct. 29, 2010

  • I've never been in a situation where it was due to race. However, I have been in situations where my family didn't like the guy I was dating. Infact, a few of my boyfriends weren't their preference. However, I had to make that choice for myself as to whether to date them or not. I stood up for them and I continued to date them. Now for me it came to a head and I finally realized what they'd been saying was true. I kicked these guys to the curb. However, in your situation you have to let your family know that race means nothing. They don't have to agree to you dating him, but they should support you either way. Race is nothing. It doens't make up who that person is at all, and they have to understand that they cannot choose for you what is right.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 12:07 AM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • Ignorance is what that is! I myself think you should date in your own race. But that is my opinion and it's not my place to judge. I would ignore your parents comments. Tell them he is your boyfriend and if he can't come over then you won't come over either.
    kansasmom1978

    Answer by kansasmom1978 at 12:31 AM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • I am so sorry that is your situation. It will be very difficult if things get more serious. You may have to give up your family. But you are an adult and need to make the decision that is right for you. Make sure you date long enough and don't rush into anything to make sure it is right. That is advice for no matter who you date. hug
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 7:21 AM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • I have been through this with an ex and now I am going through this with my SO. I just ignore them the best I can.
    LiLJeni

    Answer by LiLJeni at 4:24 PM on Oct. 30, 2010

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