Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Maybe this should be under relationships.....but......I've been married a little over a year, I am 29 in December and Hubby is 32 next week........well.......what do you do if.....

you want a baby so badly and your DH claims he does too but then when he comes down to it, he hesitates at the end of the baby dance and pulls out. He seems uncomfortable and really scared. Sometimes he seems like he wants a baby and tells me he does, but then another day he'll tell me he needs a better job, and trys to explain what a "huge responsibility" it is. I don't understand the mixed messages and its killing me. I want a child so badly its all I think about. I notice every baby at work with envy and even jealously. It sucks. Then I when I tell my husband when I am ovulating in November so we have better odds, he comments "those days I'll make sure i use a condom." Its like WTF?? Why would he even think its funny to say that? Its almost like he's not taking it seriously and I just want him to be at the same level as I am and WANT it as much......any help?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:37 PM on Oct. 30, 2008 in Trying to Conceive

Answers (14)
  • Well here is the solution... .get on top... unless he throws you off he is pretty much stuck there LOL...

    Answer by leoangel at 10:39 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • I would definitely talk to him. I think that's the only way you can really figure out what his feelings are. Be kind. Don't freak on him, but just try to ask him what the deal is...let him know your feelings and that you are concerned by his attitude towards the whole thing. If he cares for you, he'll be willing to listen and to talk.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:40 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • joking aside, you need to sit him down, and say "What's the deal?" I need to know if you are in the same boat as me, or you aren't; as it is unfair for him to say he is and then do the obvious panic pull out... at least then you may be able to get an answer to your question since he is hesitating...


    Answer by leoangel at 10:40 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • Well here is the solution... .get on top... unless he throws you off he is pretty much stuck there LOL

    OMG that is the funniest thing I have herd all day!!!

    Answer by SexxyMomma26 at 10:44 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • That is funny! But then he might feel trapped later. (Dr.Phil)
    Anyway, don't tell him when that time is. I would jsut sit down with him and try and get in the same boat. Maybe he is having anexity because it's his birthday coming up. Men do go through rough time the older they get.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:49 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • The thing is, he wants to "wait until December" for some reason. I don't know I am so confused. I told him that it takes a long time to ttc especially b/c I just got off BC that I was on for a long time. I told him we should have fun and start trying now and he suddenly becomes paranoid! I told him, dont you think I am scared too? ITS NORMAL!!! You're scared b/c you don't have a clue what to expect.....and for me, I have no idea if I'd be ok, if I'd be sick, if it would affect my full time job where I am on my feet all day........I panic too.......but I know at the end it will be worth it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:55 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • hmmm wonder why he wants to wait until December... does he want to have the lil one during a specific month???? Is he expecting a job change, raise, etc? That's a hard one... unless he is just delaying for no reason... Well, I guess you have to wait till December, one month can go by quick girl, just have a lot of fun practicing, and if he keeps pushing it off in December, I would definitely ask what the heck is going on...GL!

    Answer by leoangel at 10:58 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • I'm sure he's just nervous. Having a baby is a big responsibility, I"m sure he's just worried about being able to support the child. He is just not 100% sure he wants a child. But honestly I think all men aren't sure when it comes right down to it. He won't be ready until he has a baby. I agree with another mom, get on top, then your in control. Just make it happen, he'll adjust!!

    Answer by robinann5 at 11:37 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • Oh and by the way....the pull out method....isn't very safe!! I had my 3rd child using that method!! LOL

    Answer by robinann5 at 11:39 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • My friend had twins on the pre-cum so it isn't a good form of BC so I would just keep found what you are doing. He must not be totally against it or he would wear a condom so I just wouldn't tell him my ovulation time. My husband acted like that for a while after the miscarriage. Good luck to you.

    Answer by Sims8386 at 5:15 AM on Oct. 31, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.