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The bomb dropped......(HELP)

I am a newlywed and I caught my hubby looking at porn.....Not in the act but he accidentilly left a window up....I was so hurt....not even 5 days later him and some friends went out for a buddies b-day and he said they went to a strip club??? (I am not okay w/ that but) He said he bought a lap dance for his friend and it was buy 1 get one free...I said who got the other one? He said me...he said the lady was gross...( I feel like he cheated..) I feel like I don't want to be married......Am I too jealous....I know some women like this kind of stuff.....?


Asked by Anonymous at 10:51 PM on Oct. 30, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • You're going to get a wide variety of answers here. Lots of women here put up with things I consider intolerable. You have to figure out for you what you can tolerate, and what you can't. Every relationship is so different you have to find what works for you. Personally, my husband doesn't look at porn or go to strip clubs. We've had talks, he knows I would feel cheated on. Some women may be 'okay' with that kind of behavior - I am not. He knows what he married, and the rewards. He knew before we got married what my expectations were. It wasn't difficult for him because he wasn't a huge porn guy even when he was single...

    Answer by Serafyna at 11:03 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • IMHO you are being overly jealous.

    Answer by flutterfae at 10:54 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • That is wrong.....Did you talk to him about it. And how it makes you feel? I would, maybe he wasn't ready to settle donw. Don't give up now, because marriage isn't easy. LOTS OF BUMPS!!!

    Answer by racingmomma at 10:54 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • I would not let him go to a strip club at all my man looks at porn but I dont care I know I get the hard **** after and he is not sleeping with another girl try talking to him or watching it with him

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:54 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • No, you definately need to sit down and talk to him. Maybe he's addicted to porn??
    My hubby looked at it before we got married. Afterwards he quit and never looked back.
    if it's something you're not comfortable with, he needs to know. don't run off and get a divorce because of it though. You're a newlywed, you'll have things to work through no matter what.
    If nothing else, he can go to therapy.

    Answer by mrseum at 10:55 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • I would suggest dirty movie night :) you may learn a few things...don't be insecure and just communicate with him :)

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:56 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • Strip clubs have been around for ever,,,And porn on the computer has taken the place of dirty magazines...I really think your going over board on this...But if you dont like it tell him to stop it.


    Answer by louise2 at 11:00 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • IMO he was wrong, but I don't feel it's any reason to get divorced at this point. Sit down with your dh and let him know how you feel about this. Tell him you'd like him not to do it again, and not to look at porn online. But ask him to be honest with you and let you know how he feels, and to be honest about if he'll stop, or if he feels he should be able to do those things. This is an issue alot of people seem to have. Men are!! Hopefully he'll take your feelings into consideration and stop with the strip clubs, lap dances, and online porn.

    Answer by robinann5 at 11:16 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • You need to talk to him and tell him how you feel about it. Some women are fine with that, some women are not, and he will NOT know that you aren't unless you TELL him so. So talk to him. Explain where you're coming from, and establish some boundaries you can both live with.

    Answer by bluecrayon at 11:46 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • You are over reacting he did nothing wrong he is being open and truthfull with you he cant touch the women on the computer and the stippers dont allow them to touch them either so just settle down.... lol he didnt cheat!!

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 12:10 AM on Oct. 31, 2008