Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Found out my dh looked video of women......:(

I found out in my husband history of videos, he was watching a battle of the bods.. Where women were parding around in their tiny bathing suits, completing to see who was the best, etc.. I am so hurt, to find out, he was looking at this.. When i asked him about it, he lied about it, and lied to me. There is the proof in his history.. (he had a history of looking nude or half naked women online or adult websites..) so I am so hurt...............

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:43 AM on Oct. 30, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • i would be more mad than hurt. Maybe it's time to get rid of your computer and at least take away his instant access to porn. He will still probably find a way to look at it, but at least he can't do it in your home. I would not tolerate this--not for one stinking second. There is that vow in marriage that says "forsaking ALL others" and I believe that includes pictures or movies or whatever else some might think to be the exception. Don't buy the lie that all men look at this crap, because they do not! This is war, so put on your armor and see what you can do to put a stop to something that makes you feel poop!
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 7:35 AM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • men always look at that crap...You cant take it personally
    LuvMyMedic3ID

    Answer by LuvMyMedic3ID at 7:05 AM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • I would be more hurt and pissed he was lieing about it then looking at it.
    If it bothers you just tell him how you feel.
    At least he is not touching them as in having an affair.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:06 AM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • Men don't always look at that crap and the reason a lot of them feel they can is because most women accept that. Personally, I feel I deserve 100% of my husband's attention/lust. He doesn't look at porn anymore because I told him how I felt about it. For me, it was a dealbreaker in a relationship and I wouldn't have gone into a serious dating relationship with someone who did look at porn.
    But, you need to have a serious conversation with him about the lying, and about the porn.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 7:31 AM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • A lot of men look at this type of stuff. He lied b/c he knows you dont approve, but he still wants to look. That's all it is - looking. I know alot of women dont like it, but I think we need to relax and let the men be men on this one. As long as they're just looking. Playboy hasnt been around for years for no reason ya know!
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 7:32 AM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • To me the porno watching is not a big deal... The fact that he lied about it..........Braking your trust is the key in your statement...............
    Monica655

    Answer by Monica655 at 9:11 AM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • I'd be more upset by the lying than his looking at attractive women. Its you he comes home too.

    His dumbass part was not knowing to delete his history or store that stuff online somewhere where you would never see it. Knowing your insecure or have issues with something he likes and is going to do anyway, he should have taken better precautions. But I'd be more upset that he lied when you obviously caught him.

    Flesh is just flesh and he's gonna see it everytime he steps out the front door, its how someone responds to it that's important. Its totally normal to notice attractive people, doesn't mean your being unfaithful.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:48 AM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:32 AM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • LEAVE IT IN THE PAST MOVE ON
    MZRIGGS1972

    Answer by MZRIGGS1972 at 7:38 AM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • "...get rid of your computer and at least take away his instant access to porn..."


     


    I disagree with treating him like a teenage boy. This is an adult and we are not allowed to take away their priviledges like they are one of our kids. What we can do is communicate our concerns and expect them to respect our position on it.


     


    With all the multimedia access nowadays, as was stated, he'd still find a way to look at it, even if its looking at magazines or thru an Ipod or buying a cheap netbook for himself. Treat him like an adult and you'll get the same treatment back. Treat them like teenagers and they'll act like sneaky teenagers back. He's an adult. We aren't allowed to forbid him. He's allowed legally to look at whatever he likes, even if we don't like it. Just talk to the man.

    Zoeyis

    Answer by Zoeyis at 10:26 AM on Oct. 30, 2010

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN