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porn right after sex part 2 adult content

So I posted yesterday that my husband looked at porn the soonest he was alone right after we had sex twice in one day. So I decided to tell him how I felt. I told him calmly that I wasn't mad but it hurts my feelings and makes me feel like I didn't do it right. He gets pissed and tells me that our relationship should be over because I don't like him the way he is. I tried to tell him that it was just how I feel and has nothing to do with me not accepting him, but it didn't make a difference and we just fought until he refused to speak to me anymore. I love the man but I honestly think he just doesn't care how I feel. I started crying when he said that it should just be over between us and he just said whatever. We have such a good life together but it just seems like he doesn't care how he affects me at all and expects me to accept it. I just don't know what to say to him at all.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:44 AM on Oct. 30, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • bothers you this much, get some couples therapy, maybe that'll help and get an outside, impartial opinion thrown in, possible with some suggestions added.
    Zoeyis

    Answer by Zoeyis at 6:59 AM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • The fact that your husband looks at porn doesn't have anything to do with you nor how good a wife you are. He is most likely addicted to it, so, of course, he wants you to accept him just as he is. It's something I could never accept into my marriage any more than I would accept another woman in any other way. Neither would I accept an addiction to drugs or alcohol, and this amounts to the exact same thing. It is a marriage killer, and I believe that you are right not to accept it. There is help available for men like your husband, but the first step is that he has to want the help, and I don't think he is there yet. What you can do is get some help for yourself and some solid counsel has to how you should handle this.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 7:30 AM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • This is a good site, lots of info that you might find helpful:


    http://www.pureintimacy.org/marriedcouples/

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:31 AM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • PRAY
    MZRIGGS1972

    Answer by MZRIGGS1972 at 7:38 AM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • You had sex twice yesterday, and everything was good, and then he said is over???. I don't get it, the porno argument seems like an excuse to end the marriage............. (?)
    Monica655

    Answer by Monica655 at 9:05 AM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • I think you two need counseling. Your communication in your relationship needs to be stronger.
    buzymamaof3

    Answer by buzymamaof3 at 9:10 AM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • This is not a boyfriend, it's your husband? And y'all have kids? And he's yelling divorce just because you said you feel inadequate when he is watching porn after a double session? There's more to this than meets the eye. That just doesn't logically follow.
    It sounds like he is nurturing a pity party because maybe his single friends tell him they are having more fun or just giving him the business for being "tied down."
    I would make a list of all the expense and miserable details involved in divorce and custody issues and after he reads it, ask him if all of this is worth splitting up just because you shared your feelings with him. If you're supposed to accept him just the way he is, why isn't he supposed to accept your very real feelings the same way?
    callmeann

    Answer by callmeann at 12:05 PM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • I'm sorry, but there are some deep issues going on here. You should seek couples counseling whether your marriage lasts or not. It never hurts to improve communication skills - and you just might learn a thing or two about yourself.
    J-M

    Answer by J-M at 12:42 PM on Oct. 30, 2010

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