Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Anyone here only want one child? I do & so many people make me feel so bad for wanting that

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:17 PM on Oct. 30, 2008 in General Parenting

Answers (15)
  • No one has the right to make you feel bad for your decision. My first daughter was stillborn and when I had my second daughter, I thought for awhile that I only wanted one, but my feelings were probably more out of fear. We (my husband and I) decided to have another one, and of course, now I'm glad we did. My decision was also probably influenced by growing up with a mother who was an only child and hearing her talk about how lonley her childhood was. It doesn't have to be that way, though. If you do decide to have only one, you'll just have to make more of an effort to help him/her make meaningful friendships. But the bottom line, it's no one's business but yours!

    Answer by Mishelly728 at 11:25 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • If that's what you want then that' all you should have. You know what you can handle, screw everyone else. Not everyone with siblings is close to them. My husband has four siblings and he doesn't speak to any of them so he still feels alone in the world besides the family we made together. Don't let anyone pressure you or guilt you into doing something you don't want to!


    Answer by myboogiewoogie at 11:27 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • I actaully think of having another because I start to think "He's going to be lonley" "bored" etc..... I have alot of guilt I'm 38 & don't know trying for another would be the best thing, but I;m so grateful I have my little boy

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:32 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • i only want one kid and that is the son that i have right now-my boyfriend on the other hand want lis 3-4 kids and i just dont want to do that. im so happy having my son. I even got the IUD to make sure i dont get preggo anytime in the next 5 years. lol

    Answer by ldc90 at 12:50 AM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • im a mom of 2 and one on the way..ill tell you what, when i get rid of one kid and still have the other, i feel kidless!!! i would love to only have one kid!! its so much easier!! but now that i have 2 and oone on the way, i would never change it. i do love it though when its just me and one kid. its very hard taking care of more than one kid. dont let people make you feel bad becuase you only want one. its way easier taking care of just one.

    Answer by tnteaton at 4:29 AM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • what?! why?! it seems like people want to make you feel bad if you have none, if you have two, three, seventeen, if you have them when are a teenager, are twenty-two, in your thirties, married, single, hetero, homo, white, black, latino, purple, alien, rich, poor, in between, breastfeeding, bottlefeeding, hospital, homebirth, dr/midwife, natural/medicated. oh my. my head spins sometimes.
    What ever happened to DO WHAT IS RIGHT FOR YOUR FAMILY? or IF YOU DONT HAVE SOMETHING NICE TO SAY DONT SAY ANYTHING AT ALL? I have just one daughter, I have had losses, but originally, in fact, YEARS, i ONLY WANTED ONE. I think that's the way it's supposed to be.

    Answer by KnoxvilleDoula at 4:31 AM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • Don't feel guilty. I think we've all felt that way at one time or another. I know I have. I've said many times, "I should have stopped at one". And even though we (or I) never mean it, sometimes our kids take us there and it happens.

    Answer by LovingParent08 at 8:50 AM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • Nothing is wrong with wanting to raise only one child..That child can have lots of friends or cosins..One is cheeper to raise then 2 or 3 or 4 or 5 or 6 or 7 etc........and easier to handle..I say go for it have only one....

    Answer by louise2 at 10:00 AM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • No one can make you feel guilty unless you let them. If that is what you want then do it. Your attention doesnt have to split into as many directions. Stick to your guns if one is all you want. I only wanted two, a boy and girl. I got two boys and everyone made ME feel guilty for wanting my tubes tied after that, even my doc since I was still young.
    I decided that if I didnt want another b4 I was 25 then I would get my tubes tied. I have dreams to accomplish ya know. Any way I had my third 4 mo ago and she is a girl. I got my tubes tied this time with no arguments lol

    Answer by perksmom at 10:46 AM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • I only wanted one. He was 6 when I became pregnant with his 14 mos old baby brother! :D He wasn't "planned" but he was so wanted! And we are very happy to now have two. But I was just as happy with one. I think it's rude for people to even ask or comment on the number of children you have! Before I had children I heard "Are you ever going to have children?" then "Are you going to have another?" when I had my first. With #2 I was asked if more would come and I say nope. but really, there has to be a reply that isn't as rude as the question to get the point across that it really is NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS...

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 10:47 AM on Oct. 31, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.