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Okay, here's the situation. I'm 4 months pregnant and I found out yesterday that I have to be on partial bed rest, can't lift anything over 10 pounds, can't stand for prolonged periods of time and...I can't have sex. I told my husband about this, but we didn't get the chance to really discuss things before all our other kids came boiling in. My husband is cool, I can talk with him about things without major issues and I'm sure we'll talk about it and work things out. But the whole thing got me to thinking about how others would handle this situation. What would you say? How would you deal with it? How would you feel if you had to stop having sex for a while? Has anyone else been through this and what valuable lessons did you learn?

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Asked by Fistandantalus at 10:19 AM on Oct. 30, 2010 in Relationships

Level 23 (16,597 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • well it has to be cause it for medical reason and most important of all to protect you child! This situation is not easy but think about you baby.

    Answer by LittleBirdFly at 10:26 AM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • What is it about the sex that puts you at risk? I don't think I could go for a prolonged time without sex and neither could my s/o.

    Answer by Shanna84 at 10:27 AM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • I had to be on prolonged bedrest. It sucked. But it was for the health of my baby. The no sex part was just part of that. You learn to cuddle and you appreciate the emotional intimacy more.

    Answer by layh41407 at 10:31 AM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • While I was pregnant with dd1, I kept going into premature labor. There was all kinds of rules I had to follow, much like your's, but I couldn't even take a shower, bath only. "Nipple stimulation" can cause contractions. "I was like um.. I normally don't get off just taking a shower... are there women who do that? I'm so jealous." LOL Any way, the no sex was horrible. Hubby got lots of head. We did have sex a few times when we weren't supposed to but that was my choice, not his.
    Ironic I couldn't go without sex for 4 months while pregnant but since then I went 2 years without.

    Answer by dmdblleb at 10:35 AM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • there's lots of ways to be physically intimate without having actual intercourse. is it that you aren't supposed to get excited?
    I'd talk to a doctor or nurse in more detail about exactly what you are supposed to avoid and why. I've been told here and there to abstain, but got to ok for things like oral sex, mutual masturbation and other types of fun.

    I'd see what else you can do.

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 10:35 AM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • i did it w/ dd2 bc with first i had premature labor. it was cautionary but no fun. well, actually we tried once and i was in so much pain neways... srry to hear about the bed rest. gl

    Answer by Phippsandrea at 10:39 AM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • I was put on "restriction" with my first baby because of placenta previa from 16 weeks to 36 weeks. There are ways to be intimate w/o actual sex plus just because YOU can't have sex doesn't mean you cant do things for him.


    Answer by hobbitswife04 at 10:45 AM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • I would have NO poblem not having sex. lol.. In fact while I was pregnant I didn't WANT sex and I was allowed!

    Answer by maybebaby83 at 11:31 AM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • I was put on bedrest at 18 weeks. I'm currently 31 weeks with triplets. We expected it to happen. We still "played" a little but I went into the hospital for awhile and when I came out I was put on very strict bedrest, which I'm still on. We're so busy preparing for them that it hasn't been a huge struggle. We just would do anything for them to be ok.

    Answer by MissRJC at 11:44 AM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • Pelvic rest for the duration of this pregnancy. No bedrest yet, thank goodness, since I'm the one with a job, but no sex, excitement, etc at this point- no penetration due to unexplained spotting (ob doesn't want to risk infection and pre term labor, so she doesn't even do exams), and the rest of it is that I get contractions over anything at this point; not major, but they last enough to be unpleasant. Plus, DH is wheelchair bound and rarely has sensation below the waist so....We cuddle, we talk, sometimes he gets a little frisky (maybe once a month for about five minutes at this point lol), and it really isn't that big of a deal- our relationship isn't based on physical intimacy, even though it's really fun ;) so nothing suffers for the lack of sex. I find that we are closer than if we just had sex all the time- this way we get more creative about how we spend our time together.

    Answer by preacherskid at 11:57 AM on Oct. 30, 2010

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