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4 Bumps

Is this a type of ABUSE? (Long)

This morning as I was sitting there feeding our DD my husband asked if I could wake him up at 4:30 since it was a little after 4. I said yes & woke him up (just called his name once & said it was 4:30. I was just about done feeding our DD & he asked if I would rewake him at 4:35 (giving him a little snooze time). I said yes & stayed up the extra 5 mins to wake him. Well, I know that the one alarm he has set goes off at 4:36 & I didn't want it to wake our LO so I woke him up by saying "could you turn off the alarm before it goes off? I don't want it to wake DD."
Somehow he turned that into me belittling him & making him feel bad. I ended up staying awake for an hour trying to figure out what I had done to belittle him. I'm already taking care of a 2yr old & an infant by myself (when he is asked he turns to his mom). I just don't know what to do anymore.


Asked by Anonymous at 12:01 PM on Oct. 30, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • I wouldn't call it abuse, just a husband who doesn't help out with the kids and needs to use an alarm clock instead of his wife. Good luck.

    Answer by scout_mom at 12:08 PM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • I don't think it abuse, just a grouchy guy!

    Answer by older at 12:08 PM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • Belittling? Does he know what belittling means? Sounds grouchy but not like abuse.

    Answer by Syphon at 12:11 PM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • At 4;30 in the morning, no i wouldn't call it abuse. My husband is a bear in the mornings, especially really early morning. Its not hard to make him mad, just because he's still half asleep. I don't take it personally, I usually just laugh at him (not to his because I know the only reason he's taking things so personally is because he's half out of it.

    Answer by hobbitswife04 at 12:13 PM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • It's not abuse. Maybe it's the tone of voice you used that made him react the way he did.

    Answer by LuvBug3 at 12:14 PM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • sounds like a crabby paddy hard to wake dh...but this doesnt sound like abuse. Are you trying to find a way out of this marriage by saying he is abusive?

    Answer by shay1130 at 12:15 PM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • It may not be abuse - yet, but judging by what you have said it could turn into an emotionallly abusive relationship by the sounds of things. Good luck and I hope things improve for you soon

    Answer by Creating78 at 2:30 PM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • Not abuse, but he sounds like a guy who needs an attitude adjustment! He should be thankful that you DID wake him up each time as he asked you to. I think next time he should set his alarm and get himself up, if that is how he is going to act!

    Answer by MizLee at 5:43 PM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • Not abuse.

    Answer by gulfcoastmom4 at 2:31 PM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • not abuse, but perhaps the sign of an unhealthy relationship. does he talk to you like that often?

    Answer by rfurlongg at 2:34 PM on Oct. 30, 2010