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How do you deal with your IL's?

My DH & I rarely argue unless it's about his parents. They over step constantly regarding our son and I'm at my wits end. They think I baby him bc I explain to him when I have to leave him at their house. He is attached and doesn't like to sleep over. My FIL always says in a stern voice "mommies gone!!!" and "Stop crying for her!!". I have tried telling them this isn't ok but my FIL rolls his eyes at me and won't listen. So, it causes me and DH to fight bc he won't go against his father. My FIL is always pulling my son away from when ever we out as a family, my son will cry and say no I want my mommy. He gets all mad and says I'm damaging him. DS is only 3!!! If my DH doesn't man up, then I'm going to have to say something.

 
momofone221

Asked by momofone221 at 1:02 PM on Oct. 30, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 14 (1,748 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • Stop taking him over to them. You're going to have to suck it up and get a babysitter. Otherwise, be stern with them. Tell them this is how you choose to parent and if they don't like it, they can go adopt a child of their own. You need to have some guts dear. There is nothing wrong with "babying" a 3 year old. I'd be damned if someone pulled my son away from me. Good luck!
    Shanna84

    Answer by Shanna84 at 1:06 PM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • Both sets are deceased!
    older

    Answer by older at 1:08 PM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • If FIL wont listen to you then stop letting him see your son for a while let him know that YOU are the parent and he is the GRANDparent so seeing his grandchild is a privlage not a guarantee and if DH has something to say stand your ground and tell him you THOUGHT you married a man not a boy and you thought you married him not his father and add if he doesnt man up he will take up residency on the couch!
    405mom

    Answer by 405mom at 1:12 PM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • Talking to my MIL won't help, she won't go against her husband. My FIL is the type to hold this against me forever and be very insulted. I just gave dh 2 choices he either confronts them or I do. Im sorry but 3 is still a baby, he needs his mom and its normal. DH is going over tonight to speak w them.
    momofone221

    Comment by momofone221 (original poster) at 1:44 PM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • At a calm and quiet time-dinner out is a good idea-talk to them. I would start out by asking them what their parents and inlaws ideas were about raising children. Then just listen, don't say anything. I'm betting after they talk awhile, that they will start saying some things ! Tell them that their parenting style is different from yours, and that you want to have them in your childs life (It will make them understand that you do control this, without saying it), but that you are the parent, and though you know they mean well, you have to make the decisions for how he is treated for today's life. Tell them that your husband supports you in this. Then he can just sit there and smile without having to go against them. If this doesn't work, just find excuses why he can't be in their presence. Like he has a cold, or isn't feeling well, or just say it's not a good time. Would it be better to talk to your MIL by herself?
    SweetLuci

    Answer by SweetLuci at 1:11 PM on Oct. 30, 2010

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