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I have zero patience today!!! It is always the same thing weekend after weekend..Is it ok to be sick and tired of being a SAHM?

I get left behind while DH goes and visits his friends and family an hour away and then stays at his hunting shack. This is no place for kids, no plumbing, no water, very dirty. Of course I can go and clean anytime but I am the sole person who lifts a finger around this house, and it is a VERY SMALL house so there is no money and it is just me and a 6 yr old. He can never watch one thing always dinking around with the remote and the DVR. I am just at my wits end because it is always the same way every weekend. No husband, No money, not a damm thing to do and I just get bored with cleaning and entertaining.
I want to go have the fun everyone else is this weekend!!! I don't want to be doing the same old same old!!

Answer Question
 
alotleft2do

Asked by alotleft2do at 3:29 PM on Oct. 30, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 18 (5,609 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • Then put your foot down and tell your DH he is to stay at home on most weekends and then you go and have a good time with your friends for awhile.
    shanlaree

    Answer by shanlaree at 3:33 PM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • Tell DH you have some shopping to get done, and just GO!
    matobe

    Answer by matobe at 3:38 PM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • I wish it was that easy!! He is very much self absorbed and If I make him stay home he becomes a big whiney baby who just sulks, pisses and moans about what he needs to do....

    oh never mind we have a deck that has needed clearing off and a garage needing cleaning out for months now and I will not do these bigger chores alone, not when I am NOT single....he just has his priorities messed up
    alotleft2do

    Comment by alotleft2do (original poster) at 3:52 PM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • You & me both. My DH loves pool. So M thru F, at least 4-5 days he's out there doing his thing. I have about a 20 minute window from when he gets home from work, changes his clothes, & leaves again. Then he doesn't come home until after 10 or 11. By then I've already fed & put the kids to bed and cleaned up. On either Saturdays or Sunday, he does the laundry and grocery shopping before he goes to play pool. So 2-3 hours he helps out, then off to pool for the rest of the day. He can leave at 10:30am, come home by 4pm, change pool sticks (because you can't use the same pool sticks at different pool halls), and then comes home after 11pm. During the week it's just me and the kids, no car, no nothing. On the weekends b4 kids we used to look forward to doing something. Now it's more like begging or pleading to get out. With being a 1 car / 1 income fam it's hard. Good luck

    Danni143

    Answer by Danni143 at 3:53 PM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • Cut your losses...put your foot down!
    RealestRican

    Answer by RealestRican at 3:57 PM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • You need to change the way you handle this thing. He knows that whenever he decides to come home, the little wife will be there, waiting for his arrival. If you know about what time he is supposed to get home, make plans to not be there. If that means you have to call someone and invite yourself over to their home and they have to come get you, then make it happen. When you keep doing the same thing over and over, and nothing is changing, it is time to try something different. Stop being so predictable and a bit more mysterious about what you are thinking. Smile a lot, and stop complaining about his being gone. Get yourself a copy of FOR BETTER OR FOR BEST by Dr. Gary Smalley and read it. Get some new ideas as to how to approach your spoiled hubby.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 4:04 PM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • I did that once...my nephew who lives 4 hours away called and wanted to know when he was going to see me next...on a whim I said In 4 hours if we get off the phone. I left my DH a note that I would be gone a few days and well when he got home he called me on the cell and really didn't care that I was gone he just wanted the password for the pay per view movies off the Dish network.
    alotleft2do

    Comment by alotleft2do (original poster) at 4:11 PM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • and i will look up the book on Amazon
    alotleft2do

    Comment by alotleft2do (original poster) at 4:12 PM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • Seriously, tell that big, whiny baby of a husband that it is YOUR TURN. You were not put on earth to be his damn slave. Leave the house and let him bitch alone. Go anywhere, for eight hours.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 4:28 PM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • It is time to sit him down and have a talk with him. Let him know that he is not single and free to up and go for the weekend, he is married, he is a dad he has responsibilities (called parenting, doing the deck, garage....). Tell him you are sick of being left sitting, that it is HIS turn to sit home while YOU go out and do something! If he does not like it- too bad- then he will know how you feel every weekend. Oh and I would change the password for the ppv movies and NOT give it to him-- let him 'suffer' and do without!
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 4:41 PM on Oct. 30, 2010

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