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Does your DH/SO expect a perfect, clean, happy toddler when he comes home from work?

My DH wants our daughter to be dressed in her best clothes, groomed, and in a good mood when he walks through the door each day.

I start about 2 hours before he gets home making sure she is clean and dressed nicely, but I swear she finds something to get into each day right prior to his arrival. If he comes thru the door to a fussy, crying 17 month old, he will gripe at me for hours. It's like he expects her to be playing quietly when he gets home.

It's so hard to make sure everything is perfect. Do any of you Mom's deal with something similar? How can I get have everything just so perfect each day by 3:30?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:29 AM on Oct. 31, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • aaaaaaaahhhh NOOOO!! What your husband sounds controlling I would tell him to kiss my ass let her be a kid and stop being betty crocker that is wrong I can understand that he wants her clean but in her good outfits and you need to be perfect my husband is just happy to be home and see my kids

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:34 AM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • Uh, easy answer! You can't! Let him spend a day home with her and see if he's able to do it! If my husband expected this, then he must have been gravely disappointed when our kids were that young!

    Answer by Mishelly728 at 12:35 AM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • LOL. Heck No. It is part of having kids. Stop trying. Your DH needs a little dose of reality.

    Answer by 3gifts.from.god at 12:35 AM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • You can't!! Kids are unpredictable. You can try and try and try again and every day will be different. I understand he would prefer that dream life, comehome to a happy kid who will not wipe what she ate 2 hours ago on his face, but the reality of it is, that it is only a dream. Now as far as making things easier for a happy reunion every day, I suggest making sure she has a decent nap maybe a few hours before he gets home, the nice clothing thing is still kinda wierd for me to grasp..but...I wouldn't bother putting her into anything you want to stay clean until right before he walks in the door. I know my DH would rather come home to a nice happy clean family, but he knows he is very luck if he can get a few days a month like that. Goodluck :)

    Answer by Izzyscrazymom at 12:40 AM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • honey, sounds like you have a bit of a control freak or he's OCD.

    seriously, leave him with the child for the full day and let him do all the things he expects you to do in a typical day. He will learn it's harder than he thinks.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:13 AM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • It's hard enough to keep the house clean all day and the house stays still! My husband loves when he comes home and my daughter is playing and looks clean. It's can be difficult but I think it's do-able. Here's a few things I do to have a happy baby when hubby comes home:
    - I try to give my daughter a snack before he comes home, that way she's not crying because she's hungry.
    -Maybe about 30 minutes before he's home, pull her hair back and wipe down her face (detangling hair spray is great because it makes the job easy and smells great)
    -If possible, give her a nap before he comes home... my daughter is usually in a better mood if she's had her nap.

    Answer by msp12r at 1:24 AM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • WTH? Are you serious? My husband is lucky to have a HOT dinner when he walks through the door. I spend my entire day chasing after two rambunctious little boys, cleaning when I can, and running errands. I don't care if my little one is in a diaper by the time my husband comes home from work. All that matters is that my children were fed, I got a load of laundry done and no one got hurt or sick that day. Tell your husband to take a chill pill. Not everything can be perfect and you're stressing out trying to make things perfect. A marriage like that won't last long.


    Answer by Anonymous at 1:28 AM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • (continued from top- ran out of room)
    - Try to have a routine set everyday so your child knows what to expect everyday... you will have less tantrums if their day is predictable.
    If all else fails, then just blame it on him, haha! Just say, "she was fine until YOU got home!"
    I recently went back to work and when I get home my husband is plastered to the couch and my daughter is playing in a messy pile of toys... so he knows it's hard work. You may have to leave the two alone one day and when you get home ask him why she's not combed, groomed, and happy when you get home!

    Answer by msp12r at 1:28 AM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • Make him be the stay at home mom, he will change his mind quickley, i cant even keep one of mine in the same spot more then 5 minutes, its how kids are tell him to get over it or get out, seriously! Its not worth the stress that it puts on you everyday, its only going to get worse!

    Answer by singlemom53 at 1:44 AM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • Unless you and your husband deal with your HUSBAND's issues you will be raising a neurotic little girl who will grow up thinking she is never "good enough" for themain man in her life. This is NOT about her being "perfect" it is about your  husband having problems. My gosh---have you no idea what that is doing to her? Suggest he get some counseling before he really screws up her precious little mind and emotions!!!!! Tell him before you continue this ridiculous behavior he has to read a book called, "Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters" and then if he still insists--he needs help.


    Answer by Anonymous at 9:55 AM on Oct. 31, 2008

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