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hubby # 2 copies hubby #1

My first marriage ended due to cheating. I took it hard. Met my second husband who was the exact opposite and swore he would never treat me bad. He was the perfect man. 7 years later I find out he is having an affair. We agreed in the beginning that this was a deal breaker. But that was before two kids and a mortgage. He supposedly ended it but I have my doubts. I can't forget everything he put me through this past year. Is it fair to stay with him although I'll never forget and probably never really forgive? I love him but cheating is unacceptable! Plus when I ask him if I had done it he says it would be over.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:18 PM on Oct. 30, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • If you stay for the reasons you stated be ready to live an unhappy life of wondering and doubting, not recommend it unless you are willing to forgive and forget.
    older

    Answer by older at 8:20 PM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • Divorce him. You can do bad all by your self. You do not need his help. At least you will be happy.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 8:28 PM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • he says it would be over if you did
    i am betting you would say the some thing, before it actually happens
    go to a couple therapist, if he is willing, if he is not willing, then he has already left the relationship
    the two of you can work through this, but not without a lot of work , and he has to allow you to be pissed off, and be pissed off for as long as it takes you to "get over it"
    you will never trust 100% again, and that SUCKS, but if he is willing and you can try maybe 99% trust will be enough
    but he will have to be super patiend, and you will have to hurt a lot

    good luck
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 8:31 PM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • If you know that you can Never Forgive him then it will Never Work- Maybe, Counseling would be a good idea- Wishing you lots of luck!

    daisyb

    Answer by daisyb at 8:34 PM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • As long as you think cheating is unforgivable, it will be. Once you change your mind to be open to forgive, you will be able to.
    isabellalecour

    Answer by isabellalecour at 9:18 PM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • I agree with isabellacour.
    Luisa621

    Answer by Luisa621 at 3:00 AM on Oct. 31, 2010

  • So before 2 kids and a mortgage you would left him in a heart beat. But because you have 2 other mouths to feed. You will stay with a cheating man? And on top of that your DH told you if you cheated on him, he will leave you.

    If he is not willing to be faithfull, or try to work on your marriage. Do what I said before. LEAVE
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 8:18 AM on Oct. 31, 2010

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