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After argument, my husband and I haven't talked in 2 weeks. What should i do?

I guess we're both afraid that it will turn into an argument again - it seems easier not to talk. We say things about the kids and hello and goodbye but that's it. In the evenings, after i put the kids down, I retreat to my bedroom and he stays downstairs until 1 or 2 AM, long after I've fallen asleep. We usually take a day or two to cool off after an argument but then start slowly interacting again but not this time. This was more of a disagreement. We've had far worse fights than this before and came around more quickly. i'm beginning not to care anymore. We have 3 sons.

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Aun1

Asked by Aun1 at 9:22 PM on Oct. 30, 2010 in Relationships

Level 3 (24 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • Fix this now before it goes any further, stuff like this if left too long creates a wedge too big too handle later on.
    older

    Answer by older at 9:23 PM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • Say I'm sorry. The largest bridge between two people is those words.
    duckigrrl

    Answer by duckigrrl at 9:29 PM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • It ended with him admitting he was aware of his negative behavior and how it affected us and would work on it so why should I apologize, there is nothing to say sorry about and why is he acting this way after his admission?
    Aun1

    Comment by Aun1 (original poster) at 9:31 PM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • What is more important to you: being happily married to your husband or being "right"? I am not judging you but you need to decide...
    BluDog

    Answer by BluDog at 9:39 PM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • Then go to him and say the silence is killing me. Can we please talk before this causes a problem to huge to fix. If yoiu want your family together you bettter take the first step. Is your pride worth losing your family? In the realm of the big world this is little stuff. Little stuff becomes giant stuff when it is ignored too long.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 9:41 PM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • What about his pride? Does he not care enough about his family? I am constantly the one who tends to our marriage. He says he cares so why I am I the only one to show it? When should he make the effort? I feel as though I continually let him off the hook by acting first to resolve things.
    Aun1

    Comment by Aun1 (original poster) at 9:49 PM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • You said above, he admitted he had negative behavior and would work on them..that does not sound prideful. He probably is taking it that you wont talk to him till he is not like that at all anymore. At least sit down with him and TALK!
    nsrush83

    Answer by nsrush83 at 9:59 PM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • You said that he usually comes around after a few days, maybe this time he is waiting for you to come around. He already admitted that he needs to work on his negative behavior-which to me sounds awfully big of him. Now with you continuing the weirdness towards him it is as if you are still mad about something that he admitted to and said he would work on. I think that you need to apologize to him for the distance over the past 2 weeks. If you don't why would he ever admit when he is wrong and try to work on it if its only going to cause these problems. To me just the fact he apologized should be enough-he shouldn't have to beg. I think it is normal for a person to feel a little standoffish after being called out on bad behavior especially if they know they were wrong so you should try to let him know he is still loved.
    AshleyBishop06

    Answer by AshleyBishop06 at 10:27 PM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • So, don't apologize. Approach him and tell him the silence has gone on long enough, and needs to stop before a problem too big to fix starts. Just because you bring this up doesn't mean you are necessarily the only one to be tending to the marriage in this instance. Not when he said he knows he needs to work on himself. It sounds to me like he's not knowing where to go from that argument/disagreement that you had. Men just don't know things like that. You need to open the door for him, that doesn't mean you have to apologize, doesn't mean you are the one to 'tend' to things. But if this silence goes on and on, then you guys may never get back to where you want to be. It might not be fixable. There may end up being too much animosity on both parts. From both of you to the other for neither of you coming to the other to end the silence. Understand? IDK how to say it any better.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 11:34 PM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • Hugs!
    Luisa621

    Answer by Luisa621 at 2:45 AM on Oct. 31, 2010

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