Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

why is it all or nothing?

My husband is totally clueless to me. I am annoyed about him not helping around the house so he hugs me and starts discussing sex (we just did it this morning)! I tell him no I am worried about getting all these things done today. Then he asks how my shoulder is. I told him I don't care about that! I am frustrated about the housework. SO his reaction to me is to get up and go about doing all the house chores. I tried to stop him and he's sarcastic and rude, saying "the boss told me what I have to do so I am doing it" and refuses to talk to me. I know he's going to be pissy all day and it is going to ruin Halloween. I'd rather him do no chores than act this way. It either all or nothing! He doesn't get it. I don't want a slave, I want a caring partner. Why the hell does he do this? He's 34 and we've been together for over 10 years, you would think by now he'd have a clue how to deal with us instead of throwing baby fits.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:24 AM on Oct. 31, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • I guess I'm curious and maybe not reading it right....why did you try to stop him when he starting going about the chores? Isn't that what you wanted? Maybe when he started doing the chores, you might have helped him, then you would be working together? I'm not trying to be snippy, please don't read it that way.....just sayin'.
    DMac08

    Answer by DMac08 at 11:27 AM on Oct. 31, 2010

  • I hear you sometimes its even harder after you have to shame them into it. I would tak advantage of it and do something for yourself
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 11:32 AM on Oct. 31, 2010

  • One could say that after him being like that for 10 years how have you not found a different way to approach him so that you don't get the above result.

    You cannot change how he reacts to things BUT you can change your approach. If he's always been like this, I don't see him up and changing now.
    anetrnlov

    Answer by anetrnlov at 11:33 AM on Oct. 31, 2010

  • pray about your marriage and let god do the rest
    brooks101

    Answer by brooks101 at 11:36 AM on Oct. 31, 2010

  • After he finish the chores...Hug him and Thank him... and just continue with the day.... He will probably won't understand the gesture, but that how most men are!!
    In my case, if I complain about any mess in the house , they all pitch in to help!!
    Monica655

    Answer by Monica655 at 12:47 PM on Oct. 31, 2010

  • Just say thank you. You were fussing about the stuff not being done then he starts to do it and now you are fussing about that. Next time try being nice and not fussing about it and you may get through a little better.
    hobbitswife04

    Answer by hobbitswife04 at 1:55 PM on Oct. 31, 2010

  • Sorry IMO you were the one who started bitching about housework needing to be done and him not helping you, then he starts doing housework and you're still mad at him.
    I can't stand women who play head games like that.
    gulfcoastmom4

    Answer by gulfcoastmom4 at 3:55 PM on Oct. 31, 2010

  • I think the words clean, chores, help, house work combined does something to the man's brain! LOL My husband seems to get an attitude when those are mentioned. hehe I would just tell him Thanks for what you did. I didn't mean YOU had to do it ALL, I just wanted to get it done before I did anything else...
    Next time maybe try, "you help me do this, and THEN we can have sex" something like that! lol
    mom2maddie06

    Answer by mom2maddie06 at 12:55 AM on Nov. 1, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.