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7 Bumps

BOYFRIEND ASKED ME TO GET ANSWERS FROM YOU LADIES ABOUT THIS

WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 15 YRS. WE'VE ALSO LIVED TOGETHER FOR MOST OF THOSE 15 YRS. FOR ABOUT 14 OF THOSE YRS, HIS ATTITUDE ABOUT MARRIAGE HAS ALWAYS BEEN NEGATIVE. FOR INSTANCE WHEN MARRIAGE COMES UP (FROM OTHERS) HE'LL SAY MARRIAGE IS JUST A PIECE, THE RING IS SOMETHING MAN CAME UP WITH, THE CEREMONY IS SOME WOMAN'S SH*T. HE'LL ALSO BRING UP THE BIBLE BUT WE'VE BEEN LIVING IN SIN FOR 14 YRS. NOW THAT HE ACTS LIKE HE IS GUNG HO TO GET MARRIED I SHOULD JUST HOP ON BOARD. AFTER YRS OF HEARING ALL THE NEGATIVE BS I COME TO REALIZE SOME THINGS HE SAID DID MAKE SENSE. SO NOW THAT HE THINKS HE WANTS TO MARRY ME I SHOULD BE HAPPY. WHEN THE SUBJECT DOES COME UP NOW I JUST REPEAT EVERYTHING HE SAID JUST TO SHOW HIM HOW STUPID SOME OF IT WAS. WHY DO I HAVE TO ARGUE ABOUT A RING? I HAVE BEEN THERE FOR THIS MAN FOR EVERYTHING. HE HAS NEVER CHEATED ON ME. WHAT WOULD YOU LADIES DO? HE ASKED ME TO ASK YOU LADIES FOR ADVICE

Answer Question
 
roxannschild

Asked by roxannschild at 12:25 PM on Oct. 31, 2010 in Relationships

Level 9 (320 Credits)
Answers (32)
  • Well, if I wanted to be married, I would do it.
    If I didn't want to be marries, I wouldn't.

    Your decision shouldn't be made by how he previously felt, but by how you currently feel.
    Jenny-talia

    Answer by Jenny-talia at 12:27 PM on Oct. 31, 2010

  • MARRY HIM? ... THIS WAS YOUR GOAL RIGHT? HE FINALLY RELIAZED THIS WOMAN HAS STUCK BY ME FOR 15 YEARS... ITS ABOUT TIME I GIVER HER WHAT SHE HAS WANTED.

    THOUGHT I WOULD WRITE IN ALL CAPS TOO... IM GOING WITH IT.
    kiansmom0423

    Answer by kiansmom0423 at 12:28 PM on Oct. 31, 2010

  • Personally I wouldn't marry him now, or ever. What was wrong with getting married earlier???? Your love for each other will not change. Make you decission on what is best for you and you only! GL
    QandA

    Answer by QandA at 12:30 PM on Oct. 31, 2010

  • Sometimes, men change their minds. One of my best friends has been with her man for 12 years. And they have two kids. He always used to say the same thing about marriage. One day, he woke up and was all gung ho about them getting married. I think he may have just matured a bit and realized that marriage wasn't all the stuff he said when he was younger. He may have just grown up a bit.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 12:32 PM on Oct. 31, 2010

  • OMG! Please turn off the caps lock, ladies :) I feel like I'm being yelled at lol...

    As far as your SO goes, maybe he just wasn't ready for marriage before and now he is. The important things to consider are whether or not youare both ready, in love, and want to be married to one another. I understand your frustration at him for his previous views, but don't hold it against him forever. Just make sure he isn't going to go back to that mindset before you marry him.
    rhianna1708

    Answer by rhianna1708 at 12:32 PM on Oct. 31, 2010

  • Maybe your thinking too much about his change of heart? Could it be that he now see that it is important to you and that is his reason? If you have been together this long and stood by each other and not betrayed each other, why not? If this is what you really want. Is it? Or did you just think you did because he didn't? Face it, it is a piece of paper, and even with out it you are a couple/family and even if he wanted to leave it would be messy. It isn't always the paper that makes leaving hard.
    wallmom1

    Answer by wallmom1 at 12:35 PM on Oct. 31, 2010

  • Sounds like he has done some growing up. Cut him a break and marry the man!
    beyondhopes

    Answer by beyondhopes at 12:35 PM on Oct. 31, 2010

  • Depends on what you really want. You have to search your soul. If you want to marry him, go for it. Otherwise, don't do it.
    christy_lvr

    Answer by christy_lvr at 12:36 PM on Oct. 31, 2010

  • I would not marry anyone but if I were in your situation I would not marry him and I would do something for yourself.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 12:36 PM on Oct. 31, 2010

  • If he wanted to truly marry you,he would have 13-14 yrs ago. He just figures he "owes" it to you to finally marry you. Basically he's full of shit in my opinion.
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 12:39 PM on Oct. 31, 2010

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