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Is your relationship different with your son than with your daughter?

I'm pregnant with my fourth child....but my first boy. Everyone around me makes comments about the relationship between mother and son being different to mother and daughter (and in a good way) and so special etc. Is it? When i think back to how mum's relationship was with my brother in comparison with me and my sister, i think i can see a difference.

How did you find it? Was it the same? Is it more to do with birth order rather than gender? Do you do anything differently with your son than you did with your daughter?

I hope this question makes sense, im really realllly tired and fighting flu at the moment! :(

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Asked by little.knickers at 4:34 PM on Oct. 31, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 13 (1,322 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • well, I have teens. My dd is 18 and ds is 16. What came to mind when reading this was asking son to pump gas last week, and him looking at me with this blank stare. He knows how to do it, he just doesnt think he should have to do it. Im a single parent so Im really working on trying to get him to see that I need help with stuff. Trash, dirty laundry, putting gas in the car, opening doors. It hasnt been easy, but we are making progress. I dont know about birth order, dd has always been up to the task, while ds not so much. He is my baby, but he is a full grown man in a 16 yr old body, so I hope that made sense as well. Its hard with kids period and you have to keep at it, no matter what gender they are,,,congrats and good luck

    Answer by beyondhopes at 4:42 PM on Oct. 31, 2010

  • Yes... Im sure you would say that your relationship is different with each of your girls too.

    But there IS a different dynamic to a mother son realtionship.  My son is almost 14.  I find that he is a bit of an alpha male issue between hubs and him... though they get along GREAT and are close... there is a small tention between dad and son that is not there with the two son and me. 

    However, there is also an issue about hugging and kissing NOW that wasnt there before... an embarasement that isnt there with my teen daughter.  But boy oh boy when he was little the sun rose and set with me... I was the woman he was going to marry... and he would tell me that.  I was his everything... WAY more than my daughters.

    You are truly blessed to have the joy of both daughters and a son.


    Answer by sahlady at 4:44 PM on Oct. 31, 2010

  • I have a different relationship with all three of mine, because all three are so different, and I treat them accordingly, but one thing is always the same my undying love for all of them.

    Answer by older at 4:52 PM on Oct. 31, 2010

  • I have one child, a son. I have a great relationship with him.

    Answer by Mom2Just1 at 5:10 PM on Oct. 31, 2010

  • There is definitely a difference. Someone mentioned the tension between their son and dh. I kind of have that with my dd. We are very close but we certainly butt heads on a lot of things - and she's only 7!! lol But ds and I have always had a good relationship. He talks to me and tells me things he may not tell dh. I think maybe a little embarrassment cuz he's a boy, or maybe cuz he knows he can trust me to listen to him. He will talk to dh, but he's usually more open with me. He's also more affectionate with me. DD and I just have a different dynamic together. She will talk and we do "girly" things together, but she's more of a cuddler with dad. I am DEFINITELY closer to my dad than my mom, although my mom and I have grown together a LOT in the last several years. I am sure this isn't how it is with EVERYONE, but it is in our house.

    Answer by mama2000_1 at 12:20 AM on Nov. 1, 2010

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