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I don't know what to do anymore

My husband is going to drive me insane. I swear he is going through some sort of midlife crisis. All of a sudden he wanted to ban Halloween in our house because we had a hard time finding costumes that he didn't deem slutty ( his idea of slutty is my idea of cute) he wants me to start dressing different, most of tops are clingy and show a little cleavage and he wants me to start covering up more and now he wants to start going back to church. I don't have a problem with him going and taking the kids but I don't believe in organized religion so to me it's pointless. I have tried compromising but I think he needs to also and I don't feel he is. This is causing a lot of arguments lately and I don't know what to do anymore.

 
sammiesmom2000

Asked by sammiesmom2000 at 9:17 AM on Oct. 31, 2008 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 5 (87 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • Submit ...JC knock it off. Its called compromise not submit. This sounds like a change in his attitude, as if he were a compromising person to begin with and now he has changed that part. of himself. There is more than likely an under lying stress going on right now. Most of the time men will be going through a stressful moment in one area of their life and vent that stress in another. They may seem tough but they do have stress are notorious for not coming out and telling anyone the situation. 

    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 4:11 PM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • A lot of people have different levels of comfort. And Halloween costumes ARE really hard to find that don't look like some type of lingerie! That's why I don't dress up. I think you guys should sit down and talk about WHY he feels the way he does. Maybe you can come to an agreement. I don't see the problem with dressing up in the sluttier things if it's for him, but to wear around....doesn't sound like a good idea.
    ReneeK3

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 9:21 AM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • The whole costume problem was finding costumes for our 8 & 10yr olds. My daughter wanted to be a high school musical cheerleader and because it showed a little bit of her stomach he banned it. I just think he's going over the top.
    sammiesmom2000

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 9:27 AM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • If these are recent and sudden changes in his behavior then perhaps it's time for a little counseling, whether it be from the church or a doctor. It is hard to find costumes that don't look slutty these days, even for kids, and maybe he's afraid of leches being drawn to your daughter if her costume is revealing. But you are an adult, well old enough to chose your own clothing, so he doesn't get a say in that as far as I am concerned. Heck, I started picking out my own clothes long before adulthood!
    Explain to him that you are all for his going to church, and wouldn't dream of trying to force your views on religion on him, and you expect the same courtesy from him.
    Seriously, though, I would get to counseling, even a marriage counselor if need be, because he seems to be developing some real worrisome issues here.
    jespeach

    Answer by jespeach at 9:34 AM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • It's so cold here that I would have allowed it, because they'd be wearing something underneath as well, lol. My 2 year old is a cheerleader this year and she's wearing a turtleneck under the costume. I'm not sure how I feel about my daughter showing her stomach...I suppose it depends on how much of it, ya know? Like a teeny tiny part, most people wouldn't notice...a good chunk of the mid-section...no way jose!
    ReneeK3

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 9:35 AM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • did he go costume shopping with you? see cuz i would and have told my husband if you dont like whats bought then you come along next time if you don't want to go and put your input in then then don't bother doing it now and as for the church thing i agree if he wants to go and take the kids fine but why should you be forced to go and as for your dressing well your an adult and you probably dressed like that when he met you so what is the problem now
    jodi205

    Answer by jodi205 at 10:06 AM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • Yes he went costume shopping with us, I told him next year he's not allowed to go. As far as the way I dress I've told him he doesn't have to like it he just has to deal with it.
    sammiesmom2000

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 10:09 AM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • Sounds like he is going alittle overboard..I am a catholic and I celebrate Halloween, and many of the other holidays and I pray. Maybe you should have a heart to heart, and discuss your feelings with him, and listen to him too..With your heart..
    Adnil

    Answer by Adnil at 12:04 PM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • Well I remember back in the day..early 90's..we went to church all the time. It's good for you if you believe that. I was taking care of 8+ kids and every freakin Sunday had to get up early. I got up early everyday during the week and Sunday I didn't have to. My hubby got upset with me and made me feel guilty so most times I went. Finally I put my foot down and told him I don't have to go and that's final!!! Don't get me wrong..I believe in God and if you go to church that's great. Well, he went and talk to the pastor seeking advise about me and going(hoping the pastor would side with him I guess..haha) The pastor told him, don't get on her..she gets up everyday early and to her sleeping in on Sunday was her time..she deserves it, don't make her feel bad...haha He also told hubby no one should MAKE someone go to church or force them.
    stayhomemom22

    Answer by stayhomemom22 at 12:19 PM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • So, I say don't be forced into going because he wants you to go, whether or not you believe in God. Men can't think they can push us around even if they are our husbands/boyfriends. Last I checked I was free, white and over 21!!!
    stayhomemom22

    Answer by stayhomemom22 at 12:19 PM on Oct. 31, 2008