Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

4 Bumps

My husband will be deploying for a third time to afghanistan...

and i am very concerned. The last time he deployed he came back different such as distant,shutting down,non communicative,angry,always watchful he still has bad dreams because i hear him crying in his sleep saying things like " put pressure on the wound " ect.I don't ever ask him what happend over there because if he wants to tell me he will. He has made great progress and has pretty much overcome alot of this but now i worry that we may have to go through this again after his next deployment. He does not have to go but he chooses to go which i support him on but i just don't want to see him have to go through this again. Are there any other women who have or are going through this right now?


Asked by iluvmykidsxoxo at 11:13 PM on Oct. 31, 2010 in Relationships

Level 20 (8,727 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • Well, every deployment is different, so maybe this one won't be like the last one. And, maybe you SHOULD ask him about things. Not asking may make him think you aren't interested, are not concerned. He may not talk about it, but you may consider asking anyway. Open the door, so to speak. If he does talk, you have to stay quiet, and try to not judge. Be supportive. They don't like to talk about it to those that haven't been though it, because we just don't understand. They need that, for the person they are talking to to understand. But, my hubby does talk to me, sometimes. Encourage him to talk with someone he deployed with, that will help. You can go talk with a chaplain, not a family life consultant, a chaplain that may have deployed himself, to help answer some questions you have. See, when my hubby was gone, we had deployed spouses dinners, lots of stuff for us that one of the chaplains did. It really helped a lot.

    Answer by Raine2001 at 11:31 PM on Oct. 31, 2010

  • I can't say i understand your worries as I have never been through this myself, but thank you and your husband both for the sacrifices you are making for freedom.

    Answer by AprylnAtticus at 11:17 PM on Oct. 31, 2010

  • I can relate to PTSD. My father still has horrible dreams about Vietnam.

    Answer by LuvBug3 at 11:21 PM on Oct. 31, 2010

  • I think you have to know when to let things go, and when to push. It's great you understand his need to go, I hope you have expressed that to him. I strongly encourage you to go talk with a chaplain, ask him/her questions. They deal with the soldiers, they can help you understand better how your hubby feels. They will be able to help you cope, which will in turn help him cope with things. If there are support things going on while he's deployed, get involved. It really helps.

    Answer by Raine2001 at 11:34 PM on Oct. 31, 2010